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Bloomberg Debate Analysis: The simultaneous winner and loser is Herman Cain’s 999 plan.
Herman Cain grabbing the voluptuous bosom of America.
In the October 12, 2011 Bloomberg GOP primary debate, Michelle Bachmann reveals that Herman Cain’s chief economic advisor is, in fact…
When you turn it upside-down, I think the Devil’s in the details.
Satan.
[Insert picture of Beelzebub writing reforms of IRS tax code in the blood of middle-class Americans.]
Yes, the big debate last night centered around Herman’s “9-9-9 plan,” which would change the federal income, cooperate, and sales tax from “What the fuck are they now?” each to a flat 9%. The plan was mentioned a total of 85 times in the debate and repeatedly confused with the price of a 16″ pie with extra cheese.
When pressed by moderators on his specific economic counsel, Cain deflected from his involvement in the Dark Arts and cited Some Guy from Cleveland, Ohio.
Satan could not be reached directly for commentary, but his press secretary told reporters:
We will roast the non-believers over pits of burning skin made from the flesh flayed off their own backs.
The rest of the debate went as expected with all the candidates rolling around in their collective sweet sweet lie juices. Charlie Rose reaffirmed his role in American media as the witty but serious, wise wizard of interviewers. And the Dartmouth college students who showed up in the audience out of intellectual respect for knowing “the other side” remained too stoned to effectively analyze the debate.
Satirical “Annotated Transcripts” of past debates here and here. Live-blog of the Tea Party debate from Sept. here.
GOP Republican 2011 Iowa Primary Debate Highlights
Image via flickr's DonkeyHotey. Pretend 'June' is 'August'
TPM compiles a video of some highlights of the August 11, 2011 Republican debate. It was more interesting than the first GOP primary debate for sure.
The Daily Beast declares Rick Perry as the winner. They also compiled their 7 favorite moments from the debate.
T-Paw blew it big time in this debate, says Salon’s Steve Kornacki, and didn’t do much except try to tear Bachmann a new one. And they all generally defensive about fiscal policy questioning, according to the NY Times.
BarackObama.com has put together “a helpful guide to a few of the more fascinating positions they’ve taken.” The charts pays close attention to what the candidates said–and what they didnt say. Will they backtrack? Will they double down? Will they hope we forget?
Herman Cain signed off closed off his portion of the debate (where he tried and failed to temper his earlier remarks about Muslims) with: “A poet once said, ‘Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it’s never easy when there’s so much on the line.” Daily Intel identifies the quote as disco singer Donna Summer, from her song The Power of One. She recorded it just over a decade ago as the theme song for Pokémon: The Movie 2000.
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