Writing About Writing

WritingaboutWriting
From the Writing about Writing Facebook group.

Birthday weekend is over. It ended up being more chill than I anticipated. Ended up playing DOOM and then watching every Key and Peele sketch I could find on Youtube.

A Harrowing Tale of Addiction via Key and Peele.

Time to go back to the grind of beefing up my writing portfolio before pitching to the big sites.

When going into project, I often don’t really go into them with a specific goal in mind. Following this philosophy, being an idea person more than a “let’s finish this” person has its ups and downs.

I tend to put myself out there and see what kind of opportunities come at me. This inevitably results in needing to scrap some projects or parts of projects, which is difficult, especially for the ideas in which I am emotionally invested.

The great thing about the Internet is you don’t really have to give anything up.

You can just post your reject projects on your own blog!

Someone will read it… eventually.

j/k I actually have pretty good hits for a personal blog. Planning on having a themed blog (moar SEO, moar hits) in the nearish future.

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Odds and Ends

I’m breaking the tradition of not talking about my life on my blog.

The blog Gods require some posts having personal flair for balance.

Thanos.jpg

As some of you may know, it’s been a challenging few years for me since I dropped out of my fancy liberal arts school.

I had spent about two years pursuing a Political Science degree with the intent of law school, and then when I realized I wanted to study BioChem instead but was seriously behind on STEM credits, I had a bit of an existential crisis.

But…

  It’s never too late to get back on track.

I mean just look at Lindsey Lohan. She’s not back to Mean Girls status, but she had her own show on the Oprah network and you know once that happens, you’re set for life.

 

🤣

It’s not so bad. I paid off my student loans, so I have a positive net worth finally. Which I wouldn’t have had I actually gone to law school.

Yay not 100k of loans.

The trick is to enroll in a PhD program, peace out with a Master’s, and then sell out and go work for a private company.

…I’m working on it.

CandiceWrites.Net is coming eventually.

I have designers in my network but I kinda have some pride which needs self stroking so I want to do the personal branding stuff all on my own. I have ideas for a business card, but the logo is going to take (more than) several iterations to get just right.

We’ll see how that works out or if I just give up and call up my homie Jaron Design.

Oh and if anyone wants to hang, I’m thinking of going to a comedy show in NYC on Nov. 9 for my birthday. It’s Scott Rogowsky of HQTrivia and guest appearance by John Oliver.

Hit me up.

How I Learned SEO With No Guide: The Secret to Success!

I blogged a lot. I blogged about different things. I looked at my stats. Then I blogged more and wrote for different sites and in different ways.

This is a cute animal. On a hoodie. On a girl.
This is a cute animal. On a hoodie. On a girl.

My boobs are actually much bigger than that in real life. I’m #asian and a 34C.

You should follow my blog. #boobs #boobs #boobs

Hai look, I’m talking about ASIANS and BOOBS on the INTERNET!

Seriously, what’s up with all these “How to Blog” blogs following me. There’s too many. Find a niche, guys. If you are supposedly SEO geniuses, you should know that already.

  • “How to Write a Porn Blog.” (Be hot.)
  • “How to Be Funny.” (Rip off funny people.)
  • “How to Give Up.” (Join the Army.)
  • “How to Make Money Online.” (Stop learning SEO and learn to code.)


There you go. The secrets to success. Maybe read one or two tutorials. But mostly just try a bunch of shit and then replicate what works.

4/20, Armadillos Metaphor, T-shirt, Fuckit, Smoke Weed
4/20, Armadillos Metaphor, T-shirt, Fuckit, Smoke Weed

Trust me, I have big boobs.

Fashion and Beauty Bloggers Wanted!

Scandalousmuffin here again with some more cross-blog promotion.

Dis mah blawh! I do wut I want!

Fashion, Beauty, Make-up, and Style Writers Wanted for Original Content Production!

Form and Function Fashion Blog

Network with a talented team. Build your writing portfolio. Write about stuff and things that you like!

(Open to all styles of women and men! Good writing  and communication skills a must. Compensation possible in the future.)

I’m also looking for business partners and sponsors. No specific criteria yet, aside from fashion-themed, but let me know if you or anyone you know is interested. Also, graphic designers; F&F can haz logo?

E-mail short cover letter and resume to the address in the About page in the linkety link!

New Projects: F&F Fashion Blog and The Flairist

I have a new side-project blog that is finally live: Form and Function Fashion Blog

I’ve posted a couple times about fashion and beauty on Clantily Scad and those posts got positive feedback. Since this blog was getting so all-over-the place with the politics and culture commentary, I decided, why not just make my own fashion blog?

I might buy a domain name for it eventually, and I definitely want to make a better layout. My graphic design skills are alright, but if anyone wants to make me a sexy logo for F&F for free, please let me know. 😛

I’m currently looking for contributing writers for Form and Function Fashion for different areas: Hair, make-up, skin care, body-type expert, etc. I already have a “Nail Art Expert” lined up. So if you’re interested in fashion and/or beauty blogging, comment with your contact info. I do have high standards for writing, just so you know, and it will also be unpaid for now unless I decide it’s getting enough traffic to monetize. (And then I’d probably split any profits proportional to writers’ post views. ) If you know anyone who is interested, send them my way to the blog or this post.

Other exciting news in Scandalousmuffin Land:

I’ve signed on as a contributing writer, probably with a health & wellness focus, to a site called The Flairist.

They are up-and-coming online magazine with a focus on career advice for young women. Give them a shout-on on Facebook, if you like them. I will have more details about exactly what I’m writing for them soon.

The Internet is really an amazing place and I feel really lucky to live in a time where I can so easily connect and talk with such interesting, talented people.  Never under-appreciate your friends, on the internet and otherwise. Things are really amazing right now.

Live, write, and love always.

Hot Blogging Community: Twenty Something Bloggers

20SomethingBloggers

20SomethingBloggers

@20SB

Since my freelance gig went under, and so did the community that followed it, I’ve been looking for ways to connect with other writers who also hustle for page hits.

Recently, I discovered SB20. They seem to fit the bill for a social networking platform that meets my needs as an online writer.

From their Facebook page:

About
Twenty Something Bloggers, the largest online community for twenty-something personal bloggers. http://www.20sb.net/

Mission

This is a place for twenty something bloggers to discover and get discovered!

Company Overview

20 Something Bloggers is the best destination on the web for digitally savvy twenty-somethings. Come join our vibrant community to discover new friends, be discovered, and get involved with a wide array of on and offline events.

My only criticism so far is that they can’t figure out if they want to stylize it to Twenty Something Bloggers or 20 Something Bloggers. I want to know for consistency purposes! Oh wait, there’s a forum for that question 🙂

I think this site has a lot of potential, but has a small enough community where you can still be able to interact with people on a fun and manageable scale. It’s a great idea and was executed beautifully; they have integrated lots of cool social networking features like chat, while keeping it simple. I would encourage other bloggers to join.

Hat Tip to Short Stories and Sustenance for hipping me to this site.

Happy 100,000 Hits Clantily Scad – Reflections on Blogging

When I was 14, I made a Geocities site. Although the content was embarrassingly 14-year-old (lists of inside jokes and collages of male celebrities), the layout didn’t look half bad, and it got better as I gained some rudimentary HTML and Photoshop skills. I’ve had an online journal in one form or another ever since for the last 9 years. But the newer incarnations had considerably less teen angst and BDSM squirrels.

My Old Xanga Banner

Some WordPressers obsess over their stats, seeking to maximize their page views, and publically posting data.

If you’re curious:  I have 100K hits. This will be my 312th post. I have 418 comments, although to be fair, almost half of those are probably me replying to people. Most referral links come from Google, and the most popular posts are the ones on weird and controversial topics.

It’s been fun—learning what trends and what doesn’t, how to use tags effectively. But it’s not something about which I ever had huge hubris. I know I could have been more aggressive by commenting on other blogs and posting on random forums. But I know views alone don’t immediately result in quality comments or discussion.

Over the last year, I’ve noticed an increase in random “likes” and followings by other bloggers. There are a lot of terrible blogs out there, mostly from people who never made it past the level of my first Geocities site. So, if you’re reading this in your subscriptions and I didn’t follow or like you back, it’s probably because your blog is boring. I’m not interested in joining your little microcosm of bloggers’ circle jerking.

If I did follow you back, congrats. You’re above average.

I was watching Girls on HBO. Otherwise known as Nepotism: That Show with Starring Famous Daughters.

The main character is a 24-year-old trustafarian who has a Bachelor’s in English. She approaches her boss at the place she’s been interning for two years and demands to be compensated for her services. He tells her he’ll be sorry to see her go.

“But Joy Lynn got hired after interning!”

“Yeah, well, Joy Lynn knows Photoshop.”

That’s when I realized that I have a shot at this game.

I can do typography (logos, banners, and professional shiz) but I can also Photoshop squirrels with giant balls holding barbeque lighters. I’d be a good PR rep for a small start-up, preferable ones that needs squirrels with giant balls.

I made a resume, which didn’t turn out quite as pathetic as I thought it would be. I can haz paid writing job?

P.S.

I Bought a Domain. What Now? Some Backstory Behind Clantily Scad.

As of this week, I own the domain name ClantilyScad.com. Anything scandalousmuffin.wordpress.com will redirect there. I love WordPress’s simple yet highly functional interface for blogging and I hope they continue being awesome.

I also played with the sub-header. It was formerly “Dyslexistentialist Musings of a Misanthropic Twat.”  Now it’s “Dyslexistentalist Commentary of the Culturally Incorrect Kind.” [edit: made it even shorter] The truth is, albeit a being a pessimist with a penchant for sarcasm on the internet, I’m actually really a nice person and no one’s ever actually called me a twat.

Does having a domain name give me more legitimacy as a blogger? No, not really. Some of the best blogs I read have URLs that are dot wordpress or dot blogspot. But domain registration and mapping is pretty cheap these days, and  I wanted to claim the eponymous URL before someone else did.

About the Name of the Blog.

Scantily Clad -> Clantily Scad is an example of metathesis, the reversal of consonant sounds in adjacent words.

Dyslexic + Existentialist = Dyslexistentialist is an example of portmanteau, the melding of two words, sound and meaning, into one. It’s a reference to my disorganized writing style and penchant for struggling with the meaning of the everything.

I can’t claim credit for the title. Back in 2008, when I wanted to start a non-autobiographical blog, I asked my friends on Livejournal what it should be named.  My friend Sara suggested “Clantily Scad.” I liked the title and so it was.  This was my first post ever.

Why is Everything is Sexual Innuendo with You?

I don’t think scantily scad/clantily scad is a necessarily sexual. Or everything is sexual. I don’t know; it’s probably the latter. Freud.

My internet handle, scandalousmuffin, is old. A combination of a couple nicknames from high school. I don’t really like it anymore, but I can assure you, it was not meant as a reference to vagina.

A big search term that people try to find my site is “scad porn.” These people are stupid. “Scad porn” is not a thing. They’re probably thinking of scat porn, because nothing says true love like being covered in human feces. Sorry to disappoint, pervs.

What Now?

One of the things I’ve been struggling with is what direction I should take with the blog.

I recognize that I don’t have a consistent theme or style. This is probably the primary reason I don’t have a lot subscribers despite certain posts garnering a lot of attention and comments. Some posts are fluffy and others are highly technical. Some are for pure amusement and others tackle serious issues.  Some are satirical and others couldn’t be more concrete. Some are simply re-blogs of popular columnists I’m into at the moment and others are autobiographical essays.

Since I was all Freudian earlier, I think I should mention that one things I’ve been thinking of writing more on, but feel would be out of place on the blog is sex. The issue is that I feel like the overlap of people that want to read about Kink and Keynesian Economics in the same blog consists of just me.

It’s evolving.  I’ll figure out. I’ll never stop writing.

And to my subscribers/bookmarkers/online stalkers, here’s a picture that I didn’t make but it still applies to you: