Archive
How I Learned SEO With No Guide: The Secret to Success!
I blogged a lot. I blogged about different things. I looked at my stats. Then I blogged more and wrote for different sites and in different ways.
This is a cute animal. On a hoodie. On a girl.
My boobs are actually much bigger than that in real life. I’m #asian and a 34C.
You should follow my blog. #boobs #boobs #boobs
Hai look, I’m talking about ASIANS and BOOBS on the INTERNET!
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Seriously, what’s up with all these “How to Blog” blogs following me. There’s too many. Find a niche, guys. If you are supposedly SEO geniuses, you should know that already.
- “How to Write a Porn Blog.” (Be hot.)
- “How to Be Funny.” (Rip off funny people.)
- “How to Give Up.” (Join the Army.)
- “How to Make Money Online.” (Stop learning SEO and learn to code.)
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There you go. The secrets to success. Maybe read one or two tutorials. But mostly just try a bunch of shit and then replicate what works.
4/20, Armadillos Metaphor, T-shirt, Fuckit, Smoke Weed
Trust me, I have big boobs.
Dear Depression, Go Fuck Yourself
I’m posting today because, dear readers, that time of year has come. It gets dark outside before 7PM, I’m working full-time on my feet, and quite simply, I’m tired of blogging. I’m tired in general.
The part of my brain that does the motivational stuff isn’t working properly anymore.
This post probably isn’t an official “hiatus” post or anything like that. I just put down the payment to renew my domain name, after all. But until my brain reboots itself, there probably will be a slowing of original content, with an occasional political re-blog until the election. After that, I’m not sure…
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I’ve been thinking about Allie Brosh, the author of the web-comic-blog Hyperbole and a Half.
She posted her last comic,“Adventures in Depression,” about a year ago.
October 2011:
But trying to use willpower to overcome the apathetic sort of sadness that accompanies depression is like a person with no arms trying to punch themselves until their hands grow back. A fundamental component of the plan is missing and it isn’t going to work.
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I don’t know how she’s doing, or if she ever got better enough to finish her book. I haven’t heard much since the thread she responded to on reddit 6 months ago. But I hope she’s still doing well. And I hope she finishes her book.
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I Bought a Domain. What Now? Some Backstory Behind Clantily Scad.
As of this week, I own the domain name ClantilyScad.com. Anything scandalousmuffin.wordpress.com will redirect there. I love WordPress’s simple yet highly functional interface for blogging and I hope they continue being awesome.
I also played with the sub-header. It was formerly “Dyslexistentialist Musings of a Misanthropic Twat.” Now it’s “Dyslexistentalist Commentary of the Culturally Incorrect Kind.” [edit: made it even shorter] The truth is, albeit a being a pessimist with a penchant for sarcasm on the internet, I’m actually really a nice person and no one’s ever actually called me a twat.
Does having a domain name give me more legitimacy as a blogger? No, not really. Some of the best blogs I read have URLs that are dot wordpress or dot blogspot. But domain registration and mapping is pretty cheap these days, and I wanted to claim the eponymous URL before someone else did.
About the Name of the Blog.
Scantily Clad -> Clantily Scad is an example of metathesis, the reversal of consonant sounds in adjacent words.
Dyslexic + Existentialist = Dyslexistentialist is an example of portmanteau, the melding of two words, sound and meaning, into one. It’s a reference to my disorganized writing style and penchant for struggling with the meaning of the everything.
I can’t claim credit for the title. Back in 2008, when I wanted to start a non-autobiographical blog, I asked my friends on Livejournal what it should be named. My friend Sara suggested “Clantily Scad.” I liked the title and so it was. This was my first post ever.
Why is Everything is Sexual Innuendo with You?
I don’t think scantily scad/clantily scad is a necessarily sexual. Or everything is sexual. I don’t know; it’s probably the latter. Freud.
My internet handle, scandalousmuffin, is old. A combination of a couple nicknames from high school. I don’t really like it anymore, but I can assure you, it was not meant as a reference to vagina.
A big search term that people try to find my site is “scad porn.” These people are stupid. “Scad porn” is not a thing. They’re probably thinking of scat porn, because nothing says true love like being covered in human feces. Sorry to disappoint, pervs.
What Now?
One of the things I’ve been struggling with is what direction I should take with the blog.
I recognize that I don’t have a consistent theme or style. This is probably the primary reason I don’t have a lot subscribers despite certain posts garnering a lot of attention and comments. Some posts are fluffy and others are highly technical. Some are for pure amusement and others tackle serious issues. Some are satirical and others couldn’t be more concrete. Some are simply re-blogs of popular columnists I’m into at the moment and others are autobiographical essays.
Since I was all Freudian earlier, I think I should mention that one things I’ve been thinking of writing more on, but feel would be out of place on the blog is sex. The issue is that I feel like the overlap of people that want to read about Kink and Keynesian Economics in the same blog consists of just me.
It’s evolving. I’ll figure out. I’ll never stop writing.
And to my subscribers/bookmarkers/online stalkers, here’s a picture that I didn’t make but it still applies to you:
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
