Manbabies, Bill O’Reilly, and Aging Hippies
I’ve been meaning to write something worthwhile. Something so profound and though-provoking that your frontal lobes pulsate with the titillating joy and wit of knowledge. TITILLATE!
But instead you get these:
2. Bill O’Reilly Goes Apeshit, the dance remix
3. “In 2002 some 2.7 percent of adults between 50 and 59 admitted to illicit drug use at least once in the preceding year. By 2005 that number had increased significantly, to 4.4 percent… by one estimate, the number of adults aged 50 and older treated for drug abuse will rise from 1.7 million in 2000 and 2001 to 4.4 million in 2020.” From “This is your Mom on Drugs: Aging Doesn’t Stop Drug Use.”
Spring and summer fashion FAIL
I despise clothes shopping. It is my least favorite kind of shopping because you can’t reliably do it all online. I hate the way the sales associates say “how are you?” as if they really care. I hate the cold blank stares from the food-disorder-inducing mannequins with ivory hipbones that could pierce your soul. I hate the way fluorescent lighting in dressing rooms makes everyone look sickly and imperfect and SELF ESTEEM KICK IN THE NUTS.
But most of all I hate the lack of clothing that is both practical and cute. Yes, I am a girl and want to look good. But goddamit, they’re making it so hard.
Just look at this banner from mandee.com
When did clashing become the cool thing to do? “Hello, I am a hippie bimbo-trucker-future teen pregnancy victim! Let my chest mesmerize you with its Mayan intricacy.” Sorry, model, but I’d prefer not to buy sandals that look like what Jesus would have worn. Maybe that outfits works for you, but the average person isn’t followed around by a color-coordinated graphic background.
The Right to Bear Arms: An Alternative
Our second amendment quite pithily reads:
“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”
Yay for awkward and archaic grammatical structuring! But even when looked at the context of the language of the time period, many constitutional law questions can occur:
Who is covered under “the People” and who are they in relative to the “militia”?
What exactly does “keep and bear arms” mean and at what point is “infringing”?
I say we avoid these “let’s guess what our forefathers meant” questions altogether and allow unrestricted gun purchasing ability to any adult citizen who isn’t a criminal. Assault weapons too.
Then we completely outlaw ammunition.
Everyone now has the right to bear arms, a vast array of tools with which to bludgeon your enemies. Free bear arms with every purchase.
Same-sex Marriage Legalized in California
In lieu of recent civil rights break through in California, I decided I would reiterate some of the main points from my same-sex essay. The essay is about 2000 words, so I can understand why it’s not getting many fullviews. I too have a short attention span, and mostly read tumblelogs.
Quoteth the AP article “California’s top court legalizes gay marriage”:
“Essentially, this boils down to love. We love each other. We now have equal rights under the law,” declared a jubilant Robin Tyler, a plaintiff in the case along with her partner. She added: “We’re going to get married. No Tupperware, please.”
*headdesk*
1. Marriage is not about love, not in the government ratified sense. No ones preventing gays from loving, living together, or even having a ceremony. Plenty of people who aren’t in love get married.
2. Marriage is not “sacred”, unless you’re talking about in the spiritual or religious sense. Somebody please tell Bush there’s a separation of church and state.
2. Legal marriage is about the 1049 rights, benefits, and privileges are granted by the federal government and the hundreds more granted by the state. Marriage is also about having the title “marriage” so that “equivalent” civil unions don’t echo the failed separate but equal concept.
3. Stop calling it “gay marriage.” Same-sex marriage allows people of the gender to marry regardless of sexual orientation. I’m straight and I want the option to marry a woman if I want to. I want to be able to say, “This is my heterosexual life partner. She is the Jay to my Silent Bob. I want her to be the one that takes custody of me if I’m in a coma and receive my social security when I die.” I’m probably not going to, but goddammit I want that right.
Movie Review: Iron Man
In the opening scene of Iron Man, an obnoxious black guy sitting behind me in the AMC commented, “Sheeiit, it always starts in a desert.”
Indeed, plenty of bad action flicks start out in the desert, US military officers in humvees and all. But with an excellent cast and tactful direction, Iron Man would prove to set a high bar for the comic movies of summer 2008 to come. Read more…
More Obamania from MoveOn.org
If you’ve watched all the winners from MoveOn.org’s “Obama in 30 Seconds” contest, you’ll get it.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Keith Olbermann lists past RFK references by Clinton
Ouch.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24797758
“You actually used the word ‘assassination’ in a time when there is a fear unspoken, but vivid and terrible, that our again troubled land and fractured political landscape might target a black man running for president or a white man or a white woman…. In retrospect we failed her when we did not call her out [for her Time’s March sixth article reference to RFK’s assassination]”