Liveblogging the CNN Tea Party Republican Primary Debate
This is a spontaneous endeavor, so bear with me. Popping my liveblogging cherry!
8:03 I haven’t watched many debate openings, but is that how networks normally present them? “Rick Santorum – The Fighter?” Isn’t “the guy who needs to quit now or will go broke” a more appropriate epithet? I love how they later referred to Herman Cain as the “pizza guy.” Is this a debate or a reality TV Show? I guess both.
8:10 Wolf Blitzer indeed has a glorious beard.
8:13 Nice of you to talk to Michelle Bachmann first, unlike MSNBC’s snubbing of her last time. Her answer was still terrible though.
8:18 “We’re having a conversation, right now.” Mitt Romney to Rick Perry. The moderators are letting some bickering go on. The crowd loves it. The “ooh ooh ooh ohh!” coming from the crowd is deserving of some fist-pumping.
8:30 I wasn’t really paying attention to Mitt Romney’s talk about growing the private sector, because I was busy admiring at his gorgeous salt and peppered coiffure.
8:39 “[The stimulus] created zero jobs.” Rick Perry blatantly lies.
[The Indecision Live-blog says, “Does Ron Paul for serious think that we’d ever elect a person who wears a plaid tie?”]
[Andrew Sullivan says Rick Perry has a “smug teflon smirk that this crowd is lapping up… As he strutted onto the stage he looked like a rooster in an Italian suit.” Accurate analysis.]
8:49 Finally a Ronald Reagan reference. Thanks Newt!
8:58 Michelle Bachman talking about leashes. Fiscal… Discipline!
9:07 If this was a slow talking contest, Rick Perry would win. He’s so ashamed of his Gardasil stint.
9:09 Still, I get the impression Rick Perry is really afraid of dying of cervical cancer.
9:20 Ron Paul wants to legalize “alternative” medicine. That’s the cure for rising health care costs. Leeches for everyone!
9:25 “I’m Wolf Blitzer, now back to the… psych! Back to commercials.” What was the point of that? Thanks for letting me know your name, Wolf Blitzer.
9:31 Ooh, Rick Perry got his first boos. I’m glad the mods and other candidates are calling out RP on his hypocrisy.
9:38 My immigration attorney boyfriend got Jon Huntsman’s H1-B reference. He’s the only one.
9:46 What would you bring the White House if you moved in? A Bible. A Bible. Another Bible. An army of unvaccinated foster children. And not Mexicans.
9:50 There’s nothing I want more than a creepy bust of Winston Church in my house.
That’s a wrap! All that happened tonight is that we’re reminded that Michelle Bachmann is against the violation of little girls, Rick Perry regrets violating little girls, and Tea Partiers will boo at anything that doesn’t involve wrapping themselves in the copies of the Constitution to ward off the terrorists (and the Mexicans).
Click here to read to my annotated transcript of the Sept. 7 Politico-sponsored bitch-fest.
Jonathan Coulton, Mc Chris, and Red Hot Chili Peppers albums
I’m not really good at talking about music on a technical level the way I discuss movies and literature, so I generally stay away from music reviews. But I just wanted to briefly touch on a couple albums I’ve downloaded recently with an arbitrary rating system.
mc chris – Racewars
When I heard the lyrics ” Youse a dumbmotherfucker, read a book, bitch” on the promo trailer, I knew this was an album for me. It’s funny, catchy, and pleasing to my nerd ears. I love rap songs about puppies in boxes and tiny european cars. My favorite tracks from Racewars include “Where’s my 40?” and “QT” (ode to Quentin Tarantino). A
Jonathan Coulton – Artificial Heart
I paid $15 for the digital + signed copy, because I heart me some JoCo. I hope to see him live one day.
There were no gem tracks like his classic “Code Monkey” and “Re: Your Brains,” but the album was still overall satisfying. He threw in some remixes of his Portal ending credits songs “Still Alive” and “Want you Gone,” which are some goodies. My favorite tracks include the previously mentioned and “Glasses,” “Je Suis Rick Springfield,” and “The Stache.” B+
Red Hot Chili Peppers – I’m With You
Ugh. Awful awful awful. I liked Stadium Arcadium, I really did. But while this album didn’t make my ears bleed, there are no notable songs on this album that I would want to name as singles at all. It played in the background while I cleaned my room like muzak. It’s like all the laziest tracks from all their previous albums on one album. D-
90s Food Product Nostalgia and Ads
1. 
Crystal Pepsi had a short run from 1992-1993. I don’t really remember it because my mother was a health freak and wouldn’t buy soda. Besides the obvious difference of being clear, Crystal Pepsi was also non-caffeinated.
I’m not entirely sure why it never took off; maybe some people found the clear version confusing when it tasted exactly like the original. I do wish they would bring it back with caffeine, because it would be a great mixer.
2. 
Another thing I don’t remember too well is Coke II, which was introduced in 1985. Fortunately, someone with too much time made a really long wikipedia entry for New Coke/Coke II.
The story is that the reformulated Coke outperformed its predecessor in blind taste tests. But after replacing the original formula, the public backlash was harsh. According to a psyhiciatrist hired by the company, some customers that called the Coke Hotline “sounded as if they were discussing the death of a family member.”
New Coke ran alone for only 3 months before the company reintroduced Coke Classic. Coke Classic and Coke II were both available on the market until the late 90s, when Coke II was phased out and discontinued entirely by 2002.
3. Oh, childhood television advertisements with creepy mascots. Somebody actually took the time to aggregate all of the Pizza Hut Pizza Head commercials:
I could only watch a couple minutes in before his voice got unbearable.
4. I think I had nightmares about that happy face shirt that ate tye-dyed Fruit by the Foot.
5. Bubble Tape commercial from the early 90s. I distinctly remember the gum rolling passed the detached feet.
6. 
I haven’t seen them recently but I was happy to discover that they do still make M&M Minis. Good, because those plastic tubes are the perfect size for storing joints in.
Writing Tip for Friday – from the Writers of South Park
^Video in the link. Matt Stone and Trey Parker know that telling a good story is all about flow. A story is not about things happening right after one another. Things happen and these things affect the subsequent things, keeping the plot flowing the viewer engaged. (Yeah, take that Family Guy.) Some great, classic advice right there.
I might break my cheapskate streak and upgrade my WordPress account soon, because this inability to embed non-youtube videos is pissing me off.
Annotated Transcript from the Sept. 7 GOP Politico Primary Debate
Mitt Romney holding an invisible baby.
Newt Gingrich: “I’m a Democrat tonight!”
Rick Perry: “Fuck Mitt Romney. (And the Mexicans. Execute them all.)”
Mitt Romney: “Don’t listen to Rick Perry. Massachusetts is special.”
Rick Santorum: “I’m sorry. My mouth is too full of fecal matter to make a difference.”
Ron Paul: “The free market will always give it to me better than Rick Santorum.”
Herman Cain: “I would have good talking points, if only the audience didn’t want to lynch me.”
Jon Huntsman: “I’m above these partisan politics. Not.”
Michelle Bachmann: “Stop stealing my thunder!”
Everybody: “Barack Obama is a failure and socialist! Lower taxes! I will suck the embalmed cock of Ronald Reagan!”
—-
You’re welcome.
For the real debate, watch it on Politico or read the full transcript from NYT.
Environmentalists are disappointed in Barack Obama
Al Gore is disappointed in Barack Obama
Al Gore posted a short blog post today titled “Confronting Disappointment” concerning the recent proposed EPA air standards that the The President recently shot down:
Instead of relying on science, President Obama appears to have bowed to pressure from polluters who did not want to bear the cost of implementing new restrictions on their harmful pollution—even though economists have shown that the US economy would benefit from the job creating investments associated with implementing the new technology.
Oh Obama, I feel like every time you take a step forward with one of your liberal support groups, you walk away from another one. You have two hands; use them to get both jobs done. Please your base.
I still haven’t gotten my closed Guantanamo Bay or my free bumper sticker. Is the bumper sticker part really that hard? Or is it going to take another 4 years like the repeal of DADT?
Student Debt Chart 1999-2011
Via The Atlantic.
Hey, guess who is glad they dropped out of school? Me! Guess who paid off their loans and has an awesome credit score? Me! Guess who can undercut your salary because I have $0 in extra monthly payments?
If you plan on getting only an undergraduate degree you better have good social skills, good connections, a keen sense for the stock market, and/or studied accounting.
Taunting does not apply to those with full scholarships or rich parents.
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