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WTF Wednesday — Woodchucks Steal Flags from Cemetery
Weird News Wednesday
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N.Y. authorities say woodchucks have been stealing flags from cemetery
Around 75 flags were reported missing from Civil War graves in the days leading up to and following Independence Day.
Hallenbeck said he was glad the culprit wasn’t a human resident. He said some flags are now coated with a substance that attracts woodchucks.
Woodchuck Mating Spray! $10 + S&H. Spray it on your neighbors flags for revenge! Woodchuck love is in the air.
Bee tee dubs, woodchucks are the same thing as groundhogs. I have an old post explaining the difference between gophers and groundhogs. Also, according to Wikipedia, gophers are also known as “whistle-pigs” and “land-beavers.”
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And here’s one for you fellow Greenpointers/Williamsburgers:
‘Caddyshack’ moment at Brooklyn’s McCarren Park pool: Lifeguards clear swimmers out of the water when a brown object is seen bobbing on the surface
I refuse to go to in the new, free McCarren Park pool. It reeks of children and desperation.
WTF Wednesday – Male Stripper Gets His Dance On in NYC Subway (SFW, sort of)
I don’t have any weird news today. I have this instead:
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“Keep your money in your pockets. Your erections and your moist panties are thanks enough for me.” Ah New Yorkers–they are passionate about what they do.
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I haven’t seen it yet, but Magic Mike is getting surprisingly decent reviews from critics and audiences.
A BuzzFeed staffer goes and interviews male strippers at a contemporary NYC strip club to see just how accurate the movie is about modern male roles in the lapdance industry. It’s pretty accurate, she says.
WTF Wednesday – Miami Face-Eater Not on Bath Salts
Weird New Wednesday
Tests in cannibalism case: Zombie-like attacker used pot, not ‘bath salts’
CNN:
Rudy Eugene, 31, was killed by a police officer after Eugene’s 18-minute attack on a homeless man. His body didn’t show “any other street drugs, alcohol or prescription drugs, or any adulterants found in street drugs,” according to the Miami-Dade County Medical Examiner Department.
“The department has also sought the assistance of an outside forensic toxicology reference laboratory, which has confirmed the absence of ‘bath salts,’ synthetic marijuana and LSD,” the statement said.
The media talked about bath salts with such authority I thought there was evidence or something. Mainstream media fail.
Oh god, Time Magazine is now calling him the “Cannabis Cannibal.” I’m guessing schizophrenia on this one, maybe made worse by the pot. One of the really rare cases that make you violent.
What’s more bizarre to me is, how did the homeless guy let someone gnaw on his face for so long? They released pictures of the victim and the damage is pretty intense. Even if you’re really, drunk adrenaline should kick in and make your life-or-death mechanism kick in.
WTF Wednesday – Naked Model Arrested Sues NYPD
Weird News Wednesday
I posted last August, “Naked in New York City,” about the model in Time’s Square that was arrested during a completely legal, nude but bodypainted photoshoot. Her name is Zoe West and today…
Nude Artist’s Model Zoe West Files Suit Against New York City For Violating Civil Rights (VIDEO)
Meh, I think it’s a frivolous suit for attention. The cops should be disciplined for being negligent about artist laws, but she was only in custody for a couple hours and released with no charges. This reminds me of the time that Mitt Romney threatened to sue for “false arrest” when he was taken in for presumably being a dick when confronted about expired boat tags.
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Meanwhile, have you guys been following the drama over The Oatmeal vs. FunnyJunk? Start here, if you’re not familiar with the $20K that FJ wants for slander or something like that (The Oatmeal bitched abut FJ stealing his comics) and then work your back back to this headline:
Background: the previous entries in our coverage of Charles Carreon’s bizarre and contemptible behavior on behalf of his client, FunnyJunk, against The Oatmeal can be found here at Part I, Part II, and Part III….
[FunnyJunk’s lawyer] transcended typical internet infamy when he filed a federal lawsuit last Friday in the United Sates District Court for the Northern District of California in Oakland. He belonged to the ages the moment he filed that lawsuit not only against Matthew Inman, proprietor of The Oatmeal, but also against IndieGoGo Inc., the company that hosted Inman’s ridiculously effective fundraiser for the National Wildlife Federation and the American Cancer Society.
But that level of censorious litigiousness was not enough for Charles Carreon. He sought something more. And so, on that same Friday, Charles Carreon also sued the National Wildlife Federation and the American Cancer Society, the beneficiaries of Matthew Inman’s fundraiser.
FunnyJunk is now trying to spin something that sounds like Charles Carreon isn’t their lawyer? Whatever. FunnyJunk is made of lies and Charles Carreon is made of crazy. Who sues the American Cancer Society?
In all jurisdictions, if the case truly lacks legal merit, the judge can fine, censure, or even disbar the attorney who brings the case. California needs to fine and censure this guy. Seriously.
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Last one:
Octopus Hitches Ride On Dolphin’s Genitals
Nature is beautiful.
WTF Wednesday – Kitten Taken to a Strip Club
Not THE kitten. But who doesn’t like the Catbook Pro?
Man Barred from Taking Kitten to Florida Strip Club
The Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office reported Everett Lages refused to leave the premises when the owner of Emerald City strip club said he wouldn’t be allowed in with the cat.
Rather than leave, Lages called 911. When deputies arrived, they called a taxi for the intoxicated kitten owner to get him and the pet back home, police wrote in a news release posted on Facebook.
The guy was subsequently arrested when he refused to pay the cabbie, and the kitten was taken by animal control. Mugshot in the link.
WTF Wednesday – Skrillex Comic + Trololo Guy Dead
WTF Wednesday >subcategory: Webcomic Wednesday
In case you missed it, the Trololo viral video guy is dead.
Weird News Wednesday – What The Fuck Wednesday
I’m 10 minutes late EST. It’s still Wednesday in California.
Back before I went into the 6-month blog void of personal fucked-upness, I used to do a Weird News Wednesday just to give my blog some sort of structure. I’ve decided to bring it back but with super lax rules. Every Wednesday I will post weird news, a webcomic, a weird wikipedia article, or, if I get really lazy, simply a picture that elicits “What the fuck?”
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I have a trifecta of weird news articles today.
1.
Miami face-eater is identified; cause of attack is a mystery
Witnesses and police have said Eugene was naked Saturday when he attacked another naked man on the MacArthur Causeway next to the Miami Herald building, chewing up to 80% of the victim’s face off. A police officer commanded him to stop, and when Eugene didn’t, the officer shot him as many as six times.
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Police: Hackensack man stabbed himself and threw intestines at officers
Carter was in the corner of the room with a knife in his hand, and he stood up, he yelled at police while stabbing himself all over his body. Officers noticed that his intestines were protruding from a wound in his abdomen, Heinemann said. Carter allegedly threw some of his skin and intestines at officers as they tried to enter the room, Heinemann said.
3.
Man hits car driven by nun, has iPhone stolen
Police said the nun was taken to hospital as a precaution and suffered minor injuries. After the collision, the male driver attempted to call 911 on his iPhone.
However, the male driver was shaken up after the crash and had trouble operating the phone. A passerby offered to help him with the phone, but then ran off with the device when the driver handed it to him.
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The news is all about mentally ill people and assholes these days.
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