Archive
Spring and summer fashion FAIL
I despise clothes shopping. It is my least favorite kind of shopping because you can’t reliably do it all online. I hate the way the sales associates say “how are you?” as if they really care. I hate the cold blank stares from the food-disorder-inducing mannequins with ivory hipbones that could pierce your soul. I hate the way fluorescent lighting in dressing rooms makes everyone look sickly and imperfect and SELF ESTEEM KICK IN THE NUTS.
But most of all I hate the lack of clothing that is both practical and cute. Yes, I am a girl and want to look good. But goddamit, they’re making it so hard.
Just look at this banner from mandee.com
When did clashing become the cool thing to do? “Hello, I am a hippie bimbo-trucker-future teen pregnancy victim! Let my chest mesmerize you with its Mayan intricacy.” Sorry, model, but I’d prefer not to buy sandals that look like what Jesus would have worn. Maybe that outfits works for you, but the average person isn’t followed around by a color-coordinated graphic background.
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Contemplating Bra Names
Today I bought a couple bras, one at Aerie and the other at Kohls. I find it very bizarre that they are assigning names to styles of bras now. I don’t mean normal style names like “Midnight Magic” or something like that, but actual human female names. Today I bought “Katie” at Aerie and “Haylie” at Kohls (Candie’s brand).
Aerie was giving out $5 coupons to anyone who tried on a bra, so I humored the salesgirl as she explained to another customer and me the different bras– “Katie,” “Paige,” and “Sasha.” (The one with the hooker name was the deep-plunge push-up, of course.) As she was talking, using words like “dramatic” to describe the styles, I couldn’t help but imagine an animated series with characters consisting solely of anthropomorphic bras.
I actually own two “Katies” now and one of them is black.