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A Quick Defense of Macs
I bought my Macbook on a whim, a very expensive whim, three years ago. A daily user, I do not regret it a bit. I love this thing; it’s pretty much my traveling companion. But for my Apple loyalty, the PC-loving blogosphere calls me foolish, pretentious, and technically illiterate.
From a financial-technical standpoint, I understand Macs are expensive and you can get more raw speed and power for your buck otherwise. A computer science major with Asperger’s who was painfully trying to court me, once turned on my Macbook and, referring to the boot time, said, “It’s so SLOW!”
If I was a gamer, maybe I would care. But I’m not. I’m not going to go into a technical spiel, but I don’t mind compromising 60 seconds of my day (no, I didn’t bother counting because I’m not anal retentive) for day-long software stability.
Here’s what I know about my laptop compared to my friend’s laptops that run Windows:
It’s lightweight. It has excellent battery life. It never overheats and I can often leave it on my lap for hours comfortably. The interface is aesthetically pleasing. The software rarely has problems. It has frozen to require a reboot maybe twice in its entire life, and that’s statistically impressive considering I’ve used it everyday for three years.
After accidentally dropping it on concrete, part of the main logic board affecting the battery got damaged, and I took it to the Genius bar. The customer service was excellent, and when I got my Macbook back in 3 days after being shipped out and shipped back, in addition to fixing the problem, they had replaced the keyboard (one button stuck a little cause I spilled something), fixed a chipped corner, and cleaned the entire casing impeccably to look like new.
I’m sure 10 years ago, finding compatible software for Mac OS was a pain. But the gap is closing. Things I’ve found to be incompatible: A couple crappy flashdrives. Verizon’s music software for my phone (big loss, my iPod nano is better). And .exe files from megavideo ads that want to install malware.
Maybe if I were an IT developer, I’d stick with Windows out of practicality. Maybe if I wanted to play MMORPGs all day, I’d want my own custom desktop with beefy memory and CPU speed. Maybe if I wanted to code, I’d be a Unix-head.
But I just want to be able to write papers in Word, occasionally Photoshop something, and have 10 tabs open at once in Chrome without it crashing. For these functions, Apple has fulfilled my needs.
Thor: An Allegory of One Man’s Internal Struggle with Bicuriosity and Penis Size
Spoiler Alert: The hammer is his penis.
78% fresh on rottentomatoes. Aren’t you proud, Marvel? Never before have I seen such a successful rendition of King Arthur meets Lord of the Rings meets Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time. If there’s one major fault in the movie it’s that we didn’t get to see enough of Chris Hemsworth hairless chistled chest so touted in the trailer. They even covered up Anthony Hopkin’s old, ugly mug with prosthetics to make him look even more old and ugly! I love famous actors when they’re unrecognizable.
In Norse mythology, Thor, son of Odin, is a hammer-wielding god associated with thunder, lightning, storms, oak trees, strength, destruction, and the protection of mankind. In Mavel movie universe, Thor is an testosterone-overloaded, extraterrestrial prince from Asgard (henceforth known as Assguard) who is hating on the rival race of monstrous Frost Giants. These Avatar-esque beings with all the charisma of Alaskan politicians put Thor’s panties in a bunch when they ruin his ascension to the throne ceremony with a failed attempt to steal back their Blue Ball Box of Eternal Frigidness.
Thor takes a retribution trip to the Frost Giants’ barren homeworld only to be stopped by daddy Odin. Terrified of his son’s rising Oedipus complex, Odin strips Thor of his Mojo and banishes him from Assguard. The aggro ex-prince is then ejaculated across the universe via the Celestial Sphincter down unto the Shithole of Earth where he is hit by a car driven with the acting ability of Princess Padmé.
Completing their supporting cast with the politically correct inclusivity of the Power Rangers, Marvel even managed to throw in an Asian guy, a Black guy, and a Hot Chick as Thor’s loyal sidekicks.
Why the Asian guy from Assguard has a Chinese accent I’ll never know. But why do you need to know? Hey look, abs.
I don’t care to know where the Iron Man prototype came from. Or why its sad excuse for a fight scene happened in a place as boring as in front of 7-11. Or where Loki acquired a snazzy suit when visiting Earth and later, the Pokémon move of Double Team. Plus, there are much more pressing questions like, Will Thor ever be able to pull his tool out of the giant, dry hole?
After all the innuendo, including something called “bi-thrusters” and avoiding tapping that fine Harvard graduate ass (Portman, not the guy who is typecast as the Good Will Hunting math professor), it is obvious Thor struggles with some serious repressive psychological issues. Even after being called out by his brother that Padmé made him “soft,” Thor cannot accept his sexuality. Alas, Thor ends up breaking apart Assguard’s Rainbow Bridge with his Trusty Hammer. Which makes me wonder what kind of soul-searching film the second film will explore. Thor 2: U Can’t Touch This? This disappointing venture through Ursa Minor’s colon will hopefully be no damper in Marvel’s fluid, seminal output of otherwise fine superhero flicks.
Professional Hair Product Alternatives – Same Ingredients, 1/3 the Price
This post was so popular I decided to separate my beauty and fashion posts into their own blog.
Find me on: Form and Function Fashion
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From working in a pharmacy, I’ve learned that Brand isn’t always better. There are tons of cheap alternatives out there if you only look at the ingredients. Here are some that I use and keep my hair care costs down. (Note: Images not to scale)
Brand: Biosilk Smoothing Serum, 5.64 oz, Amazon.com: $19.19
Alternative: FX Silk Drops Serum 4 oz. Amazon.com: $3.79
It has the main silicone-based ingredients as Biosilk plus Vitamin E , Panthenol Vitamin B5, Retinyl Palmitate Vitamin A and Silk Protein, as well. Smells great!
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Brand: Federick Fekkai Straight Away Straightening Balm, 4oz, Bath and Body Works: $17.50
Alternative: Loreal Artec Kiwi Color Reflector Blow Serum, 8.4 oz, Beauty-Mart.com: $9.69
With the same main smoothing and heat protecting ingredients, hydroxypropyl guar and demethicone, Kiwi Color provides a great no-build up, light fruity smelling product. I got it for $5 on sale at my local convenience store and the bottle is twice as big as my Fekkai tube.
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Brand: CHI Keratin Mist, 12 oz., Target: 12.99
Alternative: One ‘n Only Ceramic Silk Curling Iron Glaze, 8 oz., Sally Beauty: $5.99
Amino Acids from Protein in hair products is overrated. It’s the glazing and protection that matters. Ceramic Silk does it just as well as the well-known CHI brand.
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Brand: TIGI Catwalk Headshot Reconstructive Intense Conditioner 6.76 fl oz, Drugstore.com: $16.50
Alternative: Tresemme Smooth & Silky Deep Smoothing Masque, 8 oz., Amazon.com: $3.49
Newsflash! You can’t “repair” damaged hair. It’s already dead. But you can use emollients, Keratin Amino Acids, Vitamin E, Vitamin H and Silk Proteins to smooth frizzy and unruly hair. In just 5 minutes, this rinse out treatment will leave your hair smoother, shinier and more manageable.
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Brand: Expensive shampoos and conditioners: Matrixx, CHI, Biolage, etc. Everywhere: $alot
Alternative: The best shampoos and conditioners I’ve used is Infusium. It’s in most grocery and convenience stores and it’s about half the cost as those huge name brands.
Tressemme shampoos and conditioners are also good if you’re on a budget. They have huge 64 oz bottles of professional quality shampoo and conditioners for even cheaper than Infusium.
Hope this article helped. Post comments if you have hair tips or product raves of your own!
Get Him to The Greek : Apatow at His Best
Spoiler level: minimum.
When I first saw the trailer for Get Him to the Greek, I thought it was going to be another generic Apatow stoner comedy. “Ripping off Pulp Fiction? Really?” I thought, as Jonah Hill got stabbed in the chest with an Epi-pen. I severely pre-judged.
Playing off from his character in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Russell Brand plays the loveable, screwed up, self-destructive rock star, Aldous Snow, whom we catch in the middle of his celebrity identity crisis on his way to a concert. Accompanied by his “affable nitwit” of an assistant, Aaron Green (Jonah Hill), Snow brings us a fun combination sex, drugs, and rock n roll, while romance and hilarity ensue. The plot is reminiscent of Funny People, except unlike that flat Apatow film, Get Him To the Greek was actually funny.
The comedic style has a little bit of everything for everyone. Screwball Stoner. Shock Value with random nudity. Intelligent References—Paul Krugman does a cameo as himself. And WTF Factor—think disembodied P. Diddy head. A large number of one-liners make it a quotable summer flick.
Get Him to The Greek is not for the easily offended. But chances are if you’re young, in the entertainment biz, and/or smoke a lot of pot, you will love this film.
Coraline: The Curious Cat May Stray
Envisioning a picture based on the award-winning novella by fantasy author Neil Gaiman, director Henry Selick creates a magical, stop-motion masterpiece with the deep, dark, fantastic Coraline.
In the same vein as Alice in Wonderland and Pan’s Labyrinth, Coraline juxtaposes fantasy and reality, featuring a young heroine who finds herself on a weird and wonderful sojourn from her previously mundane life. It may sound like a tale done before, but with its abundant quirks and charms, Coraline holds its own in the genre. Selick’s film proves that puppetry is not dead with it’s colorful CG-enhanced style, while also drawing thematic elements from classic stories that entice the viewer to explore his or her own inner child.
The blue-haired, brown-eyed Coraline Jones is the new girl in her lazy country town. Her parents, a writer and an editor of a gardening magazine, bore her with their neglectful, workaholic antics. Itching for adventure, she decides to explore her 150-year-old house. In her wanderings, she discovers a doorway to an alternate reality, complete with a button-eyed (literally) “Other Mother” and an “Other Father,” who seem bent on catering to her every childhood whim with their surreal machinery. Coraline is momentarily tempted to ditch her old life for this seemingly perfect dream world, but of course, she will find that everything is not all as it seems.
Bold and imaginative, the character of Coraline embodies the spirit of the film. She is the archetypal deviant child, intelligent yet naïve, with lessons to learn about life and herself. For those kids old enough to handle some of the more action-intense scenes, this PG film provides both entertainment and morals.
If there is a complaint with the film, it would have to lie in its brevity and lack of secondary character development. The fast pace of the film didn’t allow Coraline to pack an emotional punch quite up to par with the visuals. But it is a fairy tale, based on a children’s book, and to expect Shakespearean depth would be asking too much.
In a time when blasé CG family films with “been-there, done-that” writing seem to be churned out weekly, Coraline is a respite. Offered in 3D, the visual ride enhances the artistic nature of the film without feeling gimmicky. Likely to be a thrill for viewers young and old, Coraline is timeless tale with powerful testament to the spirit of childhood and imagination.
Six-Word Sensations Speak To the Heart
Poetry and prose collide in this intriguing collection of personal stories on topics of February’s favorite four-letter emotion. From the same folks who compiled the New York Time‘s bestseller Not Quite What What I Was Planning, comes Six-Word Memoirs on Love & Heartbreak: by Writers Famous and Obscure.
Brevity is the soul of wit, as Shakespeare would say, and these stories confirm it. Most being shorter than a haiku, these six-word tales manage to say so much in so very little. They encompass a range a topics from young love to marriage to cheating to divorce. Some stories will seek a smile and yet others will end in tears, from either sadness or hilarity.
A sampler:
• “He still needs me at sixty-four.” —Armistead Maupin
• “Will government ever let us marry?” —Vicki Marsh
• “She left all her things behind.” —Craig Fishburn
• “If I get chlamydia, blame Myspace.” —Hanorah Slocum
Even for those who normally dislike poetry, if you can appreciate a good quote, you can appreciate these memoirs. They are stories perfect for those with a short attention span. Poignant and thought-provoking, these clever tales of half a dozen words each can inspire you to pick your brain and write your own.
SMITH magazine’s Six-Word Memoirs on Love & Heartbreak comes just in time for Valentine’s Day. You can find it on Amazon.com or pick up a copy at your local Barnes and Noble.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
