Archive
House is Terrible but I’m too Emotionally Invested to Stop Watching
*There will be Season 8 Spoilers ahead.*
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Three episodes into Season 8 of House, the sheer amount of re-used plot devices and slashed characters replaced with boring, new characters is confirming what I suspected three seasons ago. The writers of House M.D. have castrated themselves.
They have castrated themselves, ate their own testes, swished them down with Cliché Idea juice, regurgitated everything, and used this frothy mixture as ink to write the screenplays for the last three seasons.
As a result, the latest season contains:
Hot Doctor working for outside party with initial antagonistic opinions, but later engages in a flirtatious professional relationship with House that will probably end up detrimental to her career.
If it happens 4 Seasons later (Dr. Terzi from S4E6) it’s still original right?
Masters character is finally gone. Oh wait, never mind, she is back as an equally socially awkward Asian.
"I have a career." -Olivia Wilde
Thirteen. She’s back! Wait, no. She’s fired again. Was she fired once or twice or thrice before? I think so, but House fires and then rehires so many people I can’t keep track. At least we got to see her make-out with another girl at the end of episode 3 before she left.
"I have a career." -Lisa Edelstein
No Cuddy, of course.
The last episode S8E3 “Charity Case” involved the diagnosis of a man who donates all his money to charitable non-profits and wants to donate all his organs. His excessive altruism at the expense of causing his rich wife great grief is deemed as a symptom.
Unselfishness as presentation for an underlying somatic illness? The recurring motif in the writing of Season 8 is: Let’s just take everything from Season 4 (“No More Mr. Nice Guy,” episode 13) and pretend it never happened.
I loved this show once upon a time. Back when there were witty one-liners, deep philosophical quandaries, less major personal crises turned around every other episode, and characters that lasted more than one season. The only reason I can’t stop watching it, or anyone still watches it for that matter, is Hugh Laurie. Whom I’m sure Fox pays retarded amounts to or else this show would have been cancelled long ago.
I was going to end this rant/review with a sidenote on how the season finale of Breaking Bad was as smooth as the top of Bryan Cranston’s head, but I do not have enough words for how much better that show is right now than House. I shall leave you with this:
OxyMorrons new album ‘STFU and Listen’ available now!
I was at the OxyMorron’s GeekLife Embassy release party last night representing The Feminine Miss Geek. Good times at the Rocawear showroom. A little bit of mosh pit action and crowd surfing went on before the group came out and gave another energizing performance.
I downloaded their last album 2 Tone Denim and so far am really digging the way they mix and blend across genres. This is some great alternative hip-hop and I hope these guys continue to climb in the NYC scene.
I should have a full review of the event, some pics, my take on the new album, and more up on TFMG sometime next week.
STFU and Listen was released for stream and download on their website: http://www.geeklife.me/ Check it out!
The Sims Social Addicts Anonymous or: How a Facebook Game Ate my Life
Remember a couples weeks ago, when I said I wasn’t going to talk about the Facebook Sims ever again? I lied.
I was going to stop playing once I made a fourth room to my house. I was going to stop once I built the double bed, so my Sim could “WooHoo!” with his girlfriend. I was going to stop after the BigScreen TV, the Writer skill-up to Level 10, and the Pink Lawn Flamingos. But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop the Sims cycle of addiction.
Now, I’m just confirming what we all already know. Video games are just as rewarding to the brain, if not moreso than real life.
I mean, when you mow your Sim lawn, money pops out! Money! And it makes a poppy noise! And then a jingly money noise when you collect it. I’d be mowing my lawn everyday if that happened in real life.
I’m the only person among my friends to make a black Sim. I don’t understand why everyone else tried to make a close-approximation real life version of themselves. How boring. Reginald Omar Klein is a pimp and that’s why his house has house has purple walls.
Also, purple is the black power color.
Reginald Omar Klein wants you to come over and visit, subvert the government, smoke a doobie (not a real Sim option), and WooHoo! in his shower. Come. Come join us at Sims Social. And you too can have an addiction to purchasing pink lawn flamingos.
(Actually, I think I think I’ve run out of space to build stuff. This is like that time I ran out of levels in Angry Birds. Addiction over!)
An Open Letter to Netflix: Stop this “Qwikster” Bullshit
Update: Netflix Scraps Qwikster DVD-only Service Idea
9/21/2011
Dear Board of Chairmen at Netflix,
Last November, when you launched your $7.99 unlimited streaming plan, DVDs by mail was treated as a $2 add-on to your unlimited streaming plan. Since your July announcement of price increased and from when the new prices went into effect–Unlimited Streaming for $7.99 a month and/or 1 DVD at a time for $7.99 a month–you lost 1,000,000 subscribers. Your stocks now look like crap.
You then release a memo in your blog, “An Explanation and Some Reflections.” Your attempt to placate your obviously pissed-off customers went as follows:
It is clear from the feedback over the past two months that many members felt we lacked respect and humility in the way we announced the separation of DVD and streaming, and the price changes. That was certainly not our intent, and I offer my sincere apology… When Netflix is evolving rapidly, however, I need to be extra-communicative. This is the key thing I got wrong.
This blog post was signed Reed Hastings, Co-Founder and CEO, Netflix. You should fire him, because he’s an idiot.
We don’t give a shit about the level of communication in announcing the separation of streaming and DVDs. We like streaming and would be willing to pay the increased fees if your service was more competitive than other services avaialbe. But you just lost your Starz contract and all the movies that went with it. Your streaming service is not “evolving;” it just got worse and you’re charging more for it, in the middle of an economic stagnation no less.
So for you to complicate the situation even more by announcing you will re-branding the DVD service to a separate website called “Qwikster” demonstrates a severe lack in ability to respond to consumer wants and needs. It’s like selling fruits and vegetables and then making another store with another name (but it’s a subsidiary!) to sell just the fruit. It doesn’t make sense for you or your customers.
You said in your blog, “Companies rarely die from moving too fast, and they frequently die from moving too slowly.” Well, companies also die from a common business practice known as “sucking at life.” Refer to Wikipedia’s List of Businesses that Failed, and be prepared when you join that list.
One business analyst compared your business plan to Apple’s iPod, suggesting that this business gamble will have long-term benefits for your profits. He’s also an idiot. The iPod is a technologically superior product in its field with aesthetics, durability, and easy to use feature. But streaming movies and TV shows is a pretty standard service that has competition coming from everywhere.
Also, next time you decide hike your prices, we’re going to remember your blog post and quote you: “There are no pricing changes (we’re done with that!)” “Done” with price increases? Really? For how long?
I guess as long as it takes for Redbox and Hulu to undercut you.
Sincerely,
Your Pissed-off Customers
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Netflix doesn’t have an e-mail address.
But you can call their customer service at: 1-866-716-0414
(Be nice to the techs, though. It’s not their fault.)
And you can write to them:
Netflix, Inc.
100 Winchester Circle
Los Gatos, CA 95032
Jonathan Coulton, Mc Chris, and Red Hot Chili Peppers albums
I’m not really good at talking about music on a technical level the way I discuss movies and literature, so I generally stay away from music reviews. But I just wanted to briefly touch on a couple albums I’ve downloaded recently with an arbitrary rating system.
mc chris – Racewars
When I heard the lyrics ” Youse a dumbmotherfucker, read a book, bitch” on the promo trailer, I knew this was an album for me. It’s funny, catchy, and pleasing to my nerd ears. I love rap songs about puppies in boxes and tiny european cars. My favorite tracks from Racewars include “Where’s my 40?” and “QT” (ode to Quentin Tarantino). A
Jonathan Coulton – Artificial Heart
I paid $15 for the digital + signed copy, because I heart me some JoCo. I hope to see him live one day.
There were no gem tracks like his classic “Code Monkey” and “Re: Your Brains,” but the album was still overall satisfying. He threw in some remixes of his Portal ending credits songs “Still Alive” and “Want you Gone,” which are some goodies. My favorite tracks include the previously mentioned and “Glasses,” “Je Suis Rick Springfield,” and “The Stache.” B+
Red Hot Chili Peppers – I’m With You
Ugh. Awful awful awful. I liked Stadium Arcadium, I really did. But while this album didn’t make my ears bleed, there are no notable songs on this album that I would want to name as singles at all. It played in the background while I cleaned my room like muzak. It’s like all the laziest tracks from all their previous albums on one album. D-
90s Food Product Nostalgia and Ads
1. 
Crystal Pepsi had a short run from 1992-1993. I don’t really remember it because my mother was a health freak and wouldn’t buy soda. Besides the obvious difference of being clear, Crystal Pepsi was also non-caffeinated.
I’m not entirely sure why it never took off; maybe some people found the clear version confusing when it tasted exactly like the original. I do wish they would bring it back with caffeine, because it would be a great mixer.
2. 
Another thing I don’t remember too well is Coke II, which was introduced in 1985. Fortunately, someone with too much time made a really long wikipedia entry for New Coke/Coke II.
The story is that the reformulated Coke outperformed its predecessor in blind taste tests. But after replacing the original formula, the public backlash was harsh. According to a psyhiciatrist hired by the company, some customers that called the Coke Hotline “sounded as if they were discussing the death of a family member.”
New Coke ran alone for only 3 months before the company reintroduced Coke Classic. Coke Classic and Coke II were both available on the market until the late 90s, when Coke II was phased out and discontinued entirely by 2002.
3. Oh, childhood television advertisements with creepy mascots. Somebody actually took the time to aggregate all of the Pizza Hut Pizza Head commercials:
I could only watch a couple minutes in before his voice got unbearable.
4. I think I had nightmares about that happy face shirt that ate tye-dyed Fruit by the Foot.
5. Bubble Tape commercial from the early 90s. I distinctly remember the gum rolling passed the detached feet.
6. 
I haven’t seen them recently but I was happy to discover that they do still make M&M Minis. Good, because those plastic tubes are the perfect size for storing joints in.
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Preemptively Hating the New Facebook “Timeline”
Facebook released a video with a preview of the new “timeline” profiles to be released… they keep changing the date. They last said Wednesday for beta, but other sources have been pushing the date back.
The tag says “Tell your life story with a new kind of profile.”
But I don’t want to tell my life story with a new of profile. Because my life has largely been boring if you don’t count the drugs. Most people are insanely boring. When everyone you kinda talked to at a party that one time and was kinda interesting has their own page of individuality and stream-of-conscious thoughts, you stop paying attention to everyone.
Apparently, the trending thing in social media is “timelines.” Twitter has a “timeline.” You know how often I look at Twitter? Once a day. And I manually click on the comedians I like to see if they have funny one-liners and that’s it. If I leave the window open for 5 minutes, 2o people will post 100 tweets I don’t give a shit about. Sorry @BarackObama.
I associate the word “timeline” with crappy 7th grade history class projects where the hippie teacher was too lazy to actually grade people on what they learned so they graded you on who could print the best pictures from the Internet and glue it to a date on a posterboard. Nobody care about what happened to you in 1993 unless you invented the cure for cancer or did something hilarious that they can use it now to embarrass you.
Because too much shit has happened in history at every moment in time. Literally, there are 7 Billion on this planet and each one has shit more than once. And then they have babies and pets and they shit. How many trillion shits is that over time?
If you want me to pay attention to you, make a blog, say funny things, and I’ll bookmark you and read you when I want to.
People on SodaHead hate the changes that were already made. Infographic in the link.