Archive
Edvard Munch “The Scream” Outlet Plug Parody
I did this in 2004:
Photoshop. Airbrush, line tool, and a lot of grain filters + blur tool.
I’ve never actually worked with oil paint, but I want to.
Dark Existentialist Book Written by a 4-Year-Old
I found this in my closet collecting dust. I’m guessing I was about 4 or 5 when I wrote it, because I know that by 6, I could string together complete sentences and by 8, I was reading Tolkein. Ah, early relics of childhood creativity. It reminds me of “I Am Better Than Your Kids.”
Introducing the world premiere of:
“Jamie Wants to Play”
I’m glad dyslexia is a normal part of childhood development and I grew out of that.
It’s 11 pages, so bear with me.
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We begin in medias res. Jamie is asking his dad “Why?”
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Jamie really wants to play.
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I think the kid’s persuasive argument was met by child abuse.
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The permissive mother archetype.
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Fuck the what.
Ok, what I think is happening is that he fell off the grass onto the road.
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Oncoming headlights.
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And boom goes the dynamite.
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Self-explanatory.
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That’s the end. I didn’t write any more of the story.
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I don’t know if I just got lazy or distracted by candy, but it ends with Jamie laying dying in a pool of his own blood. Kind of disturbing for a 4-year-old but nonetheless demonstrates an early conceptualization of the fragility of the human body.
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Moral of the story: It doesn’t matter if you want to play today, because we’re all going to die.
The End
Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) Floor Guide – Suite101
My Tianeptine article was #1 this past weekend on Reddit Psychology hot list. If you’re a Redditor, do me a solid and go Upvote! http://www.reddit.com/r/psychology/comments/wlsgn/tianeptine_the_antidepressant_that_reduces/
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I visited MoMA this past weekend and now all I want to do is remain unemployed and sit at home and make art all day. #firstworldproblems
It inspired me to write another Suite 101 article. I’ll get back to the Health & Wellness category soon, I swear.
I also need to get into the habit of taking my own pictures for articles, like this one.
At 630,000-square-feet, MoMA’s contemporary and spacious 6-floored building holds a vast array of 19th-21st century artwork. This prestigious museum encompasses a plethora of mediums including installations, paintings, photography, architecture, and vanguard digital media. If you have never visited an art museum before or are an art connoisseur on the prowl for new and exciting experiences, this floor-by-floor guide will provide the details on what New York’s MoMA has to offer.
Read more at Suite101: Guide to the Manhattan Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) by Candice Hall | Suite101.com http://suite101.com/article/guide-to-the-manhattan-museum-of-modern-art-moma-a409980#ixzz20wHLSzsr
Artists! I Need Advice
When my ex moved to Florida, he asked me to paint him something “manly and tragic” to hang up in his new place. I haven’t painted since high school, because it was only a hobby and I was never proficiently good. (I did set painting for plays and musicals, but that’s a different type of painting.) But it still sounded like a fun commission.
For my “manly and tragic” scene I picked bull elephant seals locked in battle. I chose Watercolor because it’s the only full paint set I had left over from high school.
Here’s the problem: It’s two years after I started and I have no idea how to finish. It just doesn’t look “done.” Especially the first seal; it looks really flat but I’m not sure where to add contrast that won’t make it too bulbous and weird.
Click to Enlarge
I tried doing various splash techniques in the water with white paint, but it became very obvious that picking Watercolor on Watercolor Paper as my medium maybe wasn’t the best idea. Once I run out of a color, it’s very hard to make a matching shade again. And watercolor doesn’t “layer” well.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Maybe mix it with other media?
(Importing into Photoshop is a last resort.)
Flash fiction – Lemon
I got an honorable mention this week on Boxing with Pencils. The flash fiction contest was simple: 100 words or less and you had to include the words yellow, swindle, and lament. My entry:
The lemon didn’t ask to be chosen by God. He was enjoying his yellow sun-kissed existence, protecting the seeds of the next generation.
But walking underneath was a distraught girl. Her boyfriend had swindled her out of her virginity, with broken promises of love and forever. There was nothing for consolation but a long walk with a close confidant.
Our hero fell and landed in their path. Momentarily stunned, the tear-stained one picked him up.
“Are you going to make lemonade?”
“No, I’m going to throw it at his car.”
In her dark backpack, the lemon could only lament.
Existential despair. It’s my speciality.
Flash fiction is extremely addictive. Go check out Boxing With Pencils, cute little site that I think has a lot of potential but not a big community yet. I entered this week’s flash fiction contest also. You can sign up for entries or comments using your facebook account.
A Condensed Version of College – Flash Fiction
Originally posted on my old DeviantArt. Creative commons license, no commercial use or modifications.
A Condensed Version of College
When they met on Topless Tequila Tuesday, he asked if she wanted to be his beer pong partner. She smiled and said sure, but she had to go soon to study for an exam the next morning. He said that was cool; he himself had taken extra precaution to not schedule any classes before noon. She was in the pre-med program and he was studying business.
They both eventually graduated.
She was accepted to a third-rate med school. But after learning that a three-year residency was practically indentured servitude, she moved back in with her parents and made a decent living wage bartending.
He tried some entrepreneurial endeavors, like managing a regional high-end knife chain. But after realizing that these businesses were modified pyramid schemes, he got a job at his dad’s company selling life insurance.
But on that Tuesday night, they weren’t thinking about their long-term futures. He was wondering if his roommate wanted her too, and she was wondering if her roommate would approve of him. As they stood in their underwear, throwing ping-pong balls across a table into cups 1/3 full of Heineken, responsibility seemed so far away.
Candice Hall Business Card or Button
I made a pretty business card, when I should have been studying . Maybe I should put my email on it. I kinda like the minimalist approach though. It’s visually pleasing.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
