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I wasted my holiday weekend with Facebook’s Sims Social

September 5, 2011 2 comments

Happy Labor Day!  I celebrated the economic and social contributions of workers everywhere by playing Facebook games including the Words for Friends (generic Scrabble) and Sims Social.

Let me tell you something about the Sims on Facebook.  It’s terrible!  It’s technically buggy, functionally limited, they are constantly harassing to spend real money to buy Sim Money, and I can’t stop playing.  But you can grow plants!  Which I guess makes it kinda like Farmville except you need to pee more.  I’m not sure what happens if you sell your toilet and don’t let your Sim pee.  Maybe it’ll die.  I don’t know.

Sims Social tag line is “Build a  home. Build a relationship. Build a life.”  Because we’re all incapable of doing that in the real world.

This is Reginald Omar Klein.

He’s a Villain and probably a hipster.  He’s dating Tina, but there’s a technical error that’s preventing Reginald and Tina to go from “Dating” to “Going Steady.”

Will Reginald ever get laid?  Will he find 3 friends to help him build another room to his insanely tiny house? Will his pumpkins ever not wither and die?  Find out next time on… no, this probably not worth blogging about ever again.

Follow-up post: How a Facebook Game Ate my Life

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The Vault of Adolescence

September 2, 2011 Leave a comment

I went to the library today but they closed at 5 PM because my township is cheap.  So I went to the County College but they figured out I wasn’t a student anymore and closed my wifi account.

I had an hour to kill so I spent the time organizing some old files transferred from my desktop.  In this time, I found some old nostalgia-inducing pictures that I made when I was a teenager, and some are actually pretty well Photoshopped.  I probably knew Photoshop better then than I do now.

Tom from Myspace as God.  I actually had a myspace group, The Cult of Tom, which myspace shut down without informing me.

Anus pick.

This was the banner I made for my first online journal, which was a Xanga.  In the middle is Bondage Squirrel. My handle was BarbequeLighter, so it’s holding a barbequelighter.

These are all going into a folder tilted “The Vault of Adolescence.”

Naked in New York City

August 31, 2011 2 comments

Example of Andy Golub's work by asterix611

Today a model was arrested in Time’s Square while being painted by artist Andy Golub.  Pics of the painted naked lady in handcuffs at NY Daily News.  Her lawyer commented,

New York State Law prohibits public nudity, except if it’s part of a play, performance, exhibition or show… This particular sergeant who arrested Ms. West didn’t get the memo – or simply didn’t care.”

I googled up “new york city nudity laws” and discovered the lawyer’s comments echoed in N.Y. Pen. Law §§245.01, 245.02, in which exemptions from the ban on public nudity  “apply to . . . any person entertaining or performing in a play, exhibition, show, or entertainment.”

This law was upheld in a 1999 court case, Spencer Tunick v. Howard Safir City of New York.

Also, due to a 1992 Court of Appeals ruling (People v. Santorelli, et al) women may be topless anywhere in NYS that permits topless men, including city streets, etc.  Good information to know.

Have some more public nudity in Times Square:

My Failed “I am Anthony Weiner” Project. What I Learned about Social Movements.

August 30, 2011 3 comments

A few months ago, when the Anthony Weiner Twitter scandal rocked the media, I did what most people would do:  I set up a Tumblr encouraging Weiner supporters to send their own crotch shots to create an online community of anonymous exhibitionists.  The only guidelines for photo submission was it be of your crotch, no indentifying features, and a sign that said, “I am Anthony Weiner.”

I can’t claim originality for the “themed-photo community in support of a politically polarizing figure” idea.  The concept was clearly inspired by “I am Bradley Manning,” a Tumblr project that really took off.

But the “I am Anthony Weiner” project was a complete failure.  Friends who had pledged to send in photos never materialized on their promises, and the collective Internet perviness was seemingly overpowered by collective Internet laziness.

Now I’m not an expert on social movements or viral marketing, but I have a general idea why things get popular and why things fail.  “I am Anthony Weiner” was not a terrible idea.  I had several photos in the first day, and about 20 people said it was a great idea and would submit if only it had more photos.  Others flat out made excuses, momentarily forgetting they owned smartphones, possibly embarrassed about letting me see their scantily clad junkaroo.

My biggest surprise is that an ad on Craiglist garnered nada.  Craiglist?  C’mon.  I thought that was the destination to go for for voyeuristic half-naked pictures.  But I guess the type of person to pic-whore themselves out on Craiglists isn’t really the type to care about supporting politicians.

The initial hump (pun intended) is always what makes or breaks a viral social movement.  People tend to have trepidation about joining something unless everyone else is more or less there.  I gave up on the Tumblr about a week before Anthony Weiner declared that he had lied about the hacking and was leaving office, the final nail in the coffin for the project.

But right after I quit, I got an e-mail of camaraderie from another website: Weiner Support.  Their site operated on basically the same idea as mine and had about the same number of submissions.  They could afford a domain name and probably knew a thing or two about web design.  Their biggest advantage over my Tumblr (disadvantage being lacking the reblog function) was having an on-site picture uploader.

By the time I had logged into the e-mail address and found them, Anthony had already resigned, and Weiner Support’s last picture was that of a kitten.  When you’re going against your own theme by posting pictures of kittens, you know you’re doomed.

Maybe one day I’ll create another Tumblr in support of a politician rocked with scandal.  But if I do, I will make sure to have a vast network of aggressive like-minded minions, and hopefully the politician won’t be lying.

Here’s an excellent example of how viral movements get started:

Greetings from Post-Irene, NJ Dept. of Transportation Fail, and Mojitos

August 29, 2011 1 comment

As I sit on this God-forsaken rooftop with my battery-powered radio, soaked to the bone, waiting with the others to be rescued while staving off the thoughts of cannibalism, all I can think is “Barack Obama doesn’t care about hipsters.”

I’ve tried to use items in my house to make a fire with which to cook my copious supplies of Easy Mac, but my dresser is made of faux wood and all my Proust has gotten damp.  I’m down to my last pair of skinny jeans and I’ve just learned my oversized sunglasses don’t offer UV protection.  (Which we wouldn’t need anyway if everyone just listened to Al Gore.)

I’m now blind, wet, and hungry. I’m not going to offer an explanation of where I got Internet Access or how I was able to see to type this, but if I don’t get a chai tea latte made from 100% organic, fair trade ingredients in the next 24 hours, I’m going to think of a witty, anti-government slogan and post it on Twitter in protest.

No. I’m in Brooklyn.  I partied into Saturday night and woke up on Sunday morning slightly hungover to gloomy, but calm skies.  Subways are mostly running and everything is dandy. I have a job orientation in Jersey tomorrow but NJ Transit is largely down.  Shrug.  Our awesome Dept of Transportation spokesman released this helpful comment about the closures on Interstate 287… oh no, wait:

Because the investigation of the site still is in the early stages, Dee could not comment on the timetable or extent of the closure up the highway. Nor could he provide information on alternate routes that northbound motorists can take around the closure.

Anyway, my drink of choice for natural disasters is Mojitos.

They are absurdly easy to make, super refreshing, and good for bitches like me that don’t like the taste of alcohol. From AllRecipes.com.  Yields 1 cocktail:

Ingredients

  • 10 fresh mint leaves
  • 1/2 lime, cut into 4 wedges
  • 2 tablespoons white sugar, or to taste
  • 1 cup ice cubes
  • 1 1/2 fluid ounces white rum
  • 1/2 cup club soda

Directions

Place mint leaves and 1 lime wedge into a sturdy glass. Use a muddler to crush the mint and lime to release the mint oils and lime juice. Add 2 more lime wedges and the sugar, and muddle again to release the lime juice. Do not strain the mixture. Fill the glass almost to the top with ice. Pour the rum over the ice, and fill the glass with carbonated water. Stir, taste, and add more sugar if desired. Garnish with the remaining lime wedge.

If you don’t have a muddler, I’ve read you can use a big wooden spoon, or put the mint with ice in a shaker.  Also, brown sugar tastes just as good, but you might have to to stir more to dissolve the bigger granules.  It’s all about the fresh mint, motherfuckers, fresh mint.

On Feminism and Gender Egalitarianism

August 25, 2011 5 comments

My post “SlutWalk NYC is pissing me off with its DSK protesting” is getting a fair number of hits from a Tumblr post that calls it, a “terrible post snarking on Slutwalk NYC organizers for protesting the dismissal of charges against DSK.”  (If only I had AdSense, they’d be making me money. That’d be satisfying.)  Mostly I was commenting on the accusatory rhetoric of the event’s Facebook page, which rifled my general sense of justice.

The post wasn’t all that snarky, considering snark is an intrinsic style of the blog, and my responses to the lady commenter were pretty tame.  I’m usually not very kind to people who don’t have their reality in the upright and locked position, but she was doing a good job of characterizing her own crazy.

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To preface this post’s main points, I want to note that I’m very familiar with feminism.  I attended a formerly all-women’s college soon after it went co-ed in an area with a strong sense of women’s studies, where I served as the Women’s Resource Center liaison to the Health Center.  I consider myself a strong gender egalitarian and if it wasn’t obvious from the rest of my blog, my politics are liberal and supportive of individual rights.

I also don’t want to debate the semantics of “feminism” since there have been so many differing women’s rights organizations and sub-cultures, so I just want to clarify I’m referring the general social movement that promotes gender egalitarianism under the presumption that women’s freedoms have been historically suppressed.

I do identify as a feminist, but when describing myself as such, I normally add a clarifying sentence involving the word “gender egalistarianism” after it.  And here’s why:  In feminism, as in every progressive movement, there will be extremists with whom mainstreamists will be reluctant to associate themselves.  I believe that there are feminists with reasonable expectations of society and there are also (characterization of a small minority) the belligerent misandrists who honestly feel that the collective male zeitgeist is consciously trying to impose its giant phallus on all their childhood hopes and dreams.

The best analogy I can think of for this reluctance to associate with the word “feminism,” despite its positive past, would be “animal activism.”  Certainly I feel passionately about animal rights, but some of PETA’s hypocrisy and ALF’s blatant terrorism makes me want to go all Jon Stewart and scream at the self-declared activists:   Stop, stop hurting America.

I don’t want spend a lot of time delineating what I deem “reasonable expectations” for feminism, but I think that the first step in an honest conversation about women’s rights is agreeing that the goals of First Wave feminism have largely been met, at least in the US and Industrialized Europe.

Yes, sexism still exists.  It should be handled seriously and on a case-by-case basis.  I believe, much to some libertarians’ chagrin, anti-discrimination laws are generally a good idea and should be enforced when violations occur.

Stereotypes also exist. Some of them are funny. Some of them contain statistical truths. Some of them create preconceptions in a society that can result in unfair treatment.  Again, stereotypes and sexist jokes are things that don’t necessarily normalize or condone societal injustice and should be judged on a case-by-case basis.

This doesn’t mean progressive movements should cease their work or that I feel that feminist is a shameful title.  But for gender egalitarianism to exist properly there needs to be an open dialogue about men’s rights, and this is something that I’ve found to be lost in women-oriented gender studies.

The collaborative writing project No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz, has some pretty good posts on male-centered sexism that I would recommend as good gender-issues reading.

As a feminist, I feel that the best ways I can promote gender egalitarianism are:  Vocalizing about sexism when I see it, supporting and promoting women’s reproductive rights and LGBT causes, being knowledgeable and active in political issues, and setting a strong role for myself in academics and work as an example of a confident, independent-minded women.

And to the misogynists, the misandrists, and the gynocentrists that completely ignore male issues: Stop, Stop Hurting Feminism.

People Who Hate Me

August 24, 2011 4 comments

I am at a level of blog popularity where I’ve started to have strangers getting angry and putting thought and effort into vitriolic comments.  It’s adorable.  I’ll add to this list as needed.

People who hate me:

Men’s Rights Activists

Austrian Economists

Socialist Feminists  (This is not  a caricature.)

People who miss Amy Winehouse

-Kids who worked for Cutco more than a week

Adolescents with no conception of healthy relationships and Sad Adults who also read Twilight

Pug-enthusiasts

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 If you also hate me, let me know, so I can add you to the list.

The full title of my subheader used to be “socioculturalpolitically incorrect commentary from a misanthropic twat.”

Some of the inspiration for behind the “misanthropic twat” persona that used to be the standard voice of my blog is Maddox.  He is the original unabashed Internet asshole.  And he became massively famously for it.  He’s probably wealthy too if his royalties for Alphabet of Manliness are as big as his balls.

I’m aiming for Maddox’s lack of shame with a writing style sprinkled with bits of Ze Frank’s smiles and Mark Morford’s political acumen.  When I start getting hate-mail like Mark Morford, I’ll know I’ve made it big: