Advertisements

Archive

Author Archive

CNN and Western Republican Primary Debate Annotated Transcript

Admiral Bachmann talking about Anchor Babies.

“To a state… where dreams are made and crushed.” -Real quote from the 10/18/11 debate opener, unlike the rest of this post.

Welcome the annotated transcript of The Real World: Las Vegas. I mean, Western Republican/CNN Presidential Primary Debate. Snort your hopes and dreams in Nevada.

Anderson Cooper takes a break from encouraging kids to break their necks to grace us with his silver fox presence for yet another liberal-media-makes-awkward-conservative-associations debate.

Rick Perry: “Waving my hands desperately to address the American People makes me more credible.”

Herman Cain: “I should have gotten an immunity pendant from the last debate.”

Michelle Bachmann: “My flashy outfit could not compensate for CNN’s 5-person-wide camera shot of the stage and their strategic placement of me at the end.”

Newt Gingrich: “I found my centrist God while on a nuclear vision quest on Yucca Mountain.”

Ron Paul: “Avoid the question. Avoid the question. Talk about freedom. Avoid the question.”

Rick Santorum: “Being a massive dick will help me seem more straight.”

Mitt Romney: “I’m going to knife Rick Santorum backstage after this show. I’m not going to bother with Rick Perry, because I think he’s already accidentally knifed himself.”

My analysis of the last debate, specifically the 9-9-9 plan is here. Annotated transcripts of previous debates here and here.

@ChaseRoper tweets, “I’m feverishly taking notes of this debate so I can work up a spec script and pitch it as Saw VIII. #tweetthepress #GOPdebate”

Advertisements

House is Terrible but I’m too Emotionally Invested to Stop Watching

October 18, 2011 5 comments

*There will be Season 8 Spoilers ahead.*

————————————————

Three episodes into Season 8 of House, the sheer amount of re-used plot devices and slashed characters replaced with boring, new characters is confirming what I suspected three seasons ago. The writers of House M.D. have castrated themselves.

They have castrated themselves, ate their own testes, swished them down with Cliché Idea juice, regurgitated everything, and used this frothy mixture as ink to write the screenplays for the last three seasons.

As a result, the latest season contains:

Hot Doctor working for outside party with initial antagonistic opinions, but later engages in a flirtatious professional relationship with House that will probably end up detrimental to her career.

If it happens 4 Seasons later (Dr. Terzi from S4E6) it’s still original right?

Masters character is finally gone.  Oh wait, never mind, she is back as an equally socially awkward Asian.

"I have a career." -Olivia Wilde

Thirteen. She’s back! Wait, no. She’s fired again. Was she fired once or twice or thrice before? I think so, but House fires and then rehires so many people I can’t keep track. At least we got to see her make-out with another girl at the end of episode 3 before she left.

"I have a career." -Lisa Edelstein

No Cuddy, of course.

The last episode S8E3 “Charity Case” involved the diagnosis of a man who donates all his money to charitable non-profits and wants to donate all his organs. His excessive altruism at the expense of causing his rich wife great grief is deemed as a symptom.

Unselfishness as presentation for an underlying somatic illness? The recurring motif in the writing of Season 8 is:  Let’s just take everything from Season 4  (“No More Mr. Nice Guy,” episode 13) and pretend it never happened.

I loved this show once upon a time. Back when there were witty one-liners, deep philosophical quandaries, less major personal crises turned around every other episode, and characters that lasted more than one season. The only reason I can’t stop watching it, or anyone still watches it for that matter, is Hugh Laurie. Whom I’m sure Fox pays retarded amounts to or else this show would have been cancelled long ago.

I was going to end this rant/review with a sidenote on how the season finale of Breaking Bad was as smooth as the top of Bryan Cranston’s head, but I do not have enough words for how much better that show is right now than House. I shall leave you with this:

Thoughts on Police Brutality video at Occupy Wall Street Times Sq.

October 17, 2011 1 comment

Admittedly, some people chose to stand their grounds as the NYPD repeatedly told them to back off, but those who wanted to move really couldn’t. There was no space to get away. And these horses were pushed into the crowd… I didn’t understand and continue to not understand what the NYPD was trying to do.

-Ryan Devereaux, Reporter for Democracy Now!

Times Square on October 15.  Some serious footage.

Thoughts:

#1. Police Horses are still a thing?

#2. Police Horses should not be a thing. Poor horse (1:30).

#3. That is definately some unnecessary shoving of heads between 2:00-2:16.

#4. The police brutality seems to always be by the white shirt cops. Apparently, you get promoted in the NYPD by being a violent dick.

#5. Whatever happened to Tony Bologna? Mr. Pepper-spray-o-matic? Still under investigation, according to the Manhattan DA.

Consumer-created media is public accountability.  Use it.

New York Comic Con Commentary and Pics

Trying this again. Not sure what happened to my original post.

But yes, I was at NY Comic Con this weekend and it was very awesome and I wrote about it in some cross-blogging goodness at The Feminine Miss Geek:


New York Comic Con with Boba Fett Chicken and Kevin Smith (pics!)

Read it. For it has Chicken Boba Fett.

Comic-Con NY Teaser

Hi. Just thought I’d make all the non-NY nerds jealous out there.

BBL guyz.

Update:

New York Comic Con with Boba Fett Chicken and Kevin Smith (pics!)

Bloomberg Debate Analysis: The simultaneous winner and loser is Herman Cain’s 999 plan.

October 12, 2011 2 comments

Herman Cain grabbing the voluptuous bosom of America.

In the October 12, 2011 Bloomberg GOP primary debate, Michelle Bachmann reveals that Herman Cain’s chief economic advisor is, in fact…

When you turn it upside-down, I think the Devil’s in the details.

Satan.

[Insert picture of Beelzebub writing reforms of IRS tax code in the blood of middle-class Americans.]

Yes, the big debate last night centered around Herman’s “9-9-9 plan,” which would change the federal income, cooperate, and sales tax from “What the fuck are they now?” each to a flat 9%. The plan was mentioned a total of 85 times in the debate and repeatedly confused with the price of a 16″ pie with extra cheese.

When pressed by moderators on his specific economic counsel, Cain deflected from his involvement in the Dark Arts and cited Some Guy from Cleveland, Ohio.

Satan could not be reached directly for commentary, but his press secretary told reporters:

We will roast the non-believers over pits of burning skin made from the flesh flayed off their own backs.

The rest of the debate went as expected with all the candidates rolling around in their collective sweet sweet lie juices. Charlie Rose reaffirmed his role in American media as the witty but serious, wise wizard of interviewers. And the Dartmouth college students who showed up in the audience out of intellectual respect for knowing “the other side” remained too stoned to effectively analyze the debate.

Satirical “Annotated Transcripts” of past debates here and here.  Live-blog of the Tea Party debate from Sept. here.

I googled “chicken on a leash.” Youtube did not disappoint.

October 12, 2011 1 comment

Yup, that’s a chicken on leash.