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The Struggle is Real.

Categories: things that amuse me Tags: drunk, kayak, SAD, water

I got a a job. Unexpectedly. In finance. (I studied biochemistry in college and dropped out after 30 credits.)

Basically, I’m a personal assistant, except I think my job also involves coding. So yeah, front end and back end. Should be interesting. Maybe I can fix this layout finally.

I’m in some very fancy places (mostly bars) all the time. I think my boss’s girlfriend who works in high fashion is going to come shopping with me with the company credit card.

It’s fucking insane. And pretty awesome.

Somebody remember to punch me if I start talking “Gucci Gucci Louis Louis Fendi Fendi Prada.”

Categories: Autobiographical Stories Tags: career, drunk, finance, job, money, NYC

A COMMA AND A FUCKING DOT. SEMICOLON.

The Lonely Island – “Semicolon (feat. Solange)”

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Hendricks is my new favorite gin!

I think this doesn’t even count as grammar. Punctuation is under syntax? I dunno. Fuck. I wasn’t an English major.

Fuck you, English majors. JK. I think I might major in English because it’d be the easiest degree for me to complete and majors don’t matter much anymore if you want to go to grad school.

I’m going to create a category for “Drunk Blogging.”

SEMICOLONS

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Oh wait, shit.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: ;, alcohol, drunk, English, funny, grammar, pretentious, SEMICOLON, snl, syntax, the lonely island, write

This is a Weird News Wednesday one day late.

Mug shots and story via The Daily Mail:

A university lab technician was arrested after he was found intoxicated with his pants down, surrounded by two monkeys who had been released from their cages.

Coley Mitchell was discovered by a co-worker sitting in a chair, half naked, in a locker room at Georgia Health Sciences University on August 13…

When police officers asked the 32-year-old to leave the facility, he was aggressive and uncooperative, according to WRDW-TV.

Good times, those monkey parties. Relevant Song.

Categories: Weird News Wednesday Tags: animated .gif, drunk, funny, GHSU, lab technician, laboratory, monkey, monkeys, weird news