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Via The Daily Mail UK:

A Bradford housewife has claimed she spent five years as a child being raised by monkeys in the Colombian jungle.

Marina Chapman said she was kidnapped for ransom in the 1950s when she was just five years old and abandoned in the jungle, with her captors believed to have botched the abduction.

For five years, she lived a Tarzan-style existence with a colony of Capuchin monkeys.

She’s currently writing a book.

All she needs to do is add a part being born from royalty and bam–Disney film screenwriter.

Categories: Weird News Wednesday, What The Fuck Wednesday Tags: capuchin, Colombia, feral child, monkey, UK

I realized I completely passed over WTF Wednesday. I think I browsed over some weird news but didn’t find much worth posting. The news has been boring lately; everyone already knows Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan are terrible people.

Anyway, I’m in the middle of reading, “Every Love Story is a Ghost Story, A Life of David Foster Wallace” by D.T. Max. It’s mostly like reading every biographical piece on Wallace already written, except in a simple consistent style. I’m not all that impressed by it.

Another reviewer on Amazon nailed it.

Soren Safrano:

The most annoying bit is its Ellmann approach to biographies, i.e., the mining of an author’s fiction and connecting its details (often forcefully) to the author’s life. Which Wallace cautions us against in his review of a Borges biography. Good approach or not, it’s sad to see something Wallace convincingly argued against applied to him (99% of the Shakespeare authorship controversy come from readers who think the Plays are autobiographical). Indeed, as a Wallace reader, it’s difficult to suppress the sense that this book is reductive. And doubtless, Wallace would have thought so too.

Note to self: Read more Borges. And then read Wallace’s review of the biography of Borges.

Webcomic to make up for the one I missed.

Categories: Webcomic Wednesday Tags: biography, comic, David Foster Wallace, DT Max, Every Love Story is a Ghost Story, webcomic


10,420 of 10,764 people found the following review helpful

 A presidential candidate’s choice is the choice for me, October 17, 2012

This review is from: Avery Durable View Binder with 2 Inch EZ-Turn Ring, White, 1 Binder (17032) (Office Product)

As a woman, I’m not adept at making decisions that concern me. So when I need the right choice, I turn to the presidential candidate that KNOWS. One with prideful experience in this department. I don’t want to be filed away in an inferior & confusing electronic doohickey that I couldn’t possibly understand. Or heaven forbid, have a man ask for & listen to my ideas! I’d much rather rely on this top of the line, 1980s style, Avery Durable binder. It’s the choice America can trust. My education, my ideas, my opinions, my choices, please PLEASE keep them safely stored away here and far away from the men that might fear them (I mean, want to use them to hire me somedaynever). I’d write more about this most useful product, but it’s time I hurry home to make dinner.

Help other customers find the most helpful reviews

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Categories: Politics or: the art of looking for trouble, Viral Things Tags: amazon, Avery, binder, Mitt Romney, three-ring binder

Live from Safety School University!

But first…

Dave Itzkoff ‏@ditzkoff

“Tonight’s first question comes to us from a man who calls himself Violentacrez. Go ahead, Mr. Violentacrez.” #debate


Patton Oswalt ‏@pattonoswalt

OBAMASATDOWNFIRSTHELOST — inside Hannity’s brain right now.#debate


“I want you to be able to get a job.” Yeah, so you can fire me from it.


I think Romney just admitted to not caring about birds dying.  Big Bird is crying.

Tom Junod ‏@TomJunod

Now he wants to kill Little Bird.


Once again a moderator is failing to move on.

The New York Times op-ed, November 18, 2008:

“Let Detroit Go Bankrupt”

by Mitt Romney

^not The Onion


I’m so bored of talking about jobs. Go back to talking about killing birds.

Chuck Wendig ‏@ChuckWendig

Obama starts explaining economic theory. Romney makes fart noises and monkey sounds in the background. #fakedebate


‎”I put women in my cabinet.” ~Romney misquote

Franklin Leonard ‏@franklinleonard

“I hired lots of women.” = “Some of my best friends are black.”


Wow, invocation of the G.W. We should start asking: Is our children learning from this debate?

Indecision ‏@indecision

This guy’s on fire. Hold on- how do we know it isn’t Joe Biden wearing his Obama costume a few weeks early? #debates

Nina Bargiel ‏@slackmistress


Alex Halperin ‏@alexhalperin

What took so long?  #debates


Now that we all understand each other, group hug?


Nothing like talk to currency manipulation to rally up the masses.

Romney’s Binder ‏@Romneys_Binder

Mitt Romney: “I want to make America the most attractive place in the world for my binder.”

Complete transcript:

(Pro-tip: when you get there: Ctrl-F “gang bangers.”)

Categories: Politics or: the art of looking for trouble Tags: 2012, debate, election, obama, presidential debates, romney

In 90 minutes I’ll be running a live-blog, mostly from Twitter reactions. It’ll probably be a lot more lazy tomorrow because I have to pack during the debate.

Debate Pre-game:

Matthew Burke ‏@MatthewKBurke

#ObamaDebateTips Wear a Big Bird costume.

Ben ‏@NEKansasPatriot

#ObamaDebateTips Make sure everyone will let you be clear.

TheGOP LIES ‏@Brimonian

#ObamaDebateTips Gangnam style

Doc Nelson ‏@JDNelson_68W

Borrow Hillary’s balls. #ObamaDebateTips

KushFaceGangNj ‏@dpreston88

#ObamaDebateTips Legalize marijuana. #Obama2012

Glenn Quagmire™ ‏@thefunnyquag

“@HahaOneLiners: #ObamaDebateTips Don’t say anything. Just have Morgan Freeman say it for you.”

Milkshakes Anytime ‏@MomMilkshake

End every response with, That’s What She Said. #ObamaDebateTips

Twitty Kitty ‏@TwittyKltty

#ObamaDebateTips Break out in random meowing.

Alexander ✮ ‏@alexpicciarelli

#ObamaDebateTips Meow at Mitt Romney. GAME OVER

Of course Twitters obsessed with cats. Because people on twitter have no friends.

Categories: Politics or: the art of looking for trouble, things that amuse me Tags: funny, obama, politics, president, Presidential Debate, romney, twitter

If you pay attention to the Internet, you’ve probably seen commentary on the Newsweek article about heaven written by a neurosurgeon.

Sam Harris, who has a PhD in neuroscience, rips this guy (and the integrity of Newsweek) a new one.

Everything—absolutely everything—in Alexander’s account rests on repeated assertions that his visions of heaven occurred while his cerebral cortex was “shut down,” “inactivated,” “completely shut down,” “totally offline,” and “stunned to complete inactivity.” The evidence he provides for this claim is not only inadequate—it suggests that he doesn’t know anything about the relevant brain science…

Alexander believes that his E. coli-addled brain could not have produced his visions because they were too “intense,” too “hyper-real,” too “beautiful,” too “interactive,” and too drenched in significance for even a healthy brain to conjure. He also appears to think that despite their timeless quality, his visions could not have arisen in the minutes or hours during which his cortex (which surely never went off) switched back on. He clearly knows nothing about what people with working brains experience under the influence of psychedelics.

I think what Sam Harris is saying is, “I’ve totally done DMT.”

I like Sam Harris a lot. I don’t always agree with him but think his simple writing and speaking, while kind of boring, is really effective. This article is probably the most outraged I’ve ever heard his tone. Probably because the guy writing the original article is supposed to be highly educated in brain science.

Anyway, I think I’ve posted this before, but here’s a free printable poster of list of contradictions in the Bible from Sam’s website:

Categories: Science Tags: atheism, Christianity, DMT, heaven, newsweek, nueroscience, Sam Harris

Ze Frank summarizes the facts of the debate:

Paul Ryan’s hair does look like an accordion. Although I think the comparison to the slow loris is unfounded. The slow loris is much cuter than Paul Ryan, although I’m sure Paul Ryan has nicer abs than the slow loris.

Just look at it… it’s clearly part of the 47%.

There weren’t any terribly egregious errors. Mostly normal fact check problems on both sides like rounding numbers like 264 to 300 and using studies that are wrong.

I made a comment during the debate that Biden says they are “friends” like they go flyfishing every second Tuesday month and then go to the titty bar.

Now I have a mental image of Joe Biden saying “titty bar” and it’s hilarious.

Categories: Politics or: the art of looking for trouble Tags: debate, joe biden, meme, politics, vice president, VP