My Blog



Posts Tagged ‘wordpress’

What the FUCK is with this stupid $30 custom css bullshit where they won’t even let me access the original .css file.

If it wasn’t for’s easy follow system and my lack of PHP knowledge I would switch to self-hosting so fast.

On that angry note, if any CSS developers know how to make it so I can have a fucking site title on iNove theme that doesn’t overlap with the menu bar, I could really use some help with troubleshooting and this stupid “overwrite” thing that doesn’t seem to be working. I feel like some
tags could fix this easily, but I can’t get it to work properly.

Categories: meta-blogging Tags: angry, css, developing, front end, iNove, rant, troubleshooting, wordpress, wordpress theme

I blogged a lot. I blogged about different things. I looked at my stats. Then I blogged more and wrote for different sites and in different ways.

This is a cute animal. On a hoodie. On a girl.

My boobs are actually much bigger than that in real life. I’m #asian and a 34C.

You should follow my blog. #boobs #boobs #boobs

Hai look, I’m talking about ASIANS and BOOBS on the INTERNET! –

Seriously, what’s up with all these “How to Blog” blogs following me. There’s too many. Find a niche, guys. If you are supposedly SEO geniuses, you should know that already.

  • “How to Write a Porn Blog.” (Be hot.)
  • “How to Be Funny.” (Rip off funny people.)
  • “How to Give Up.” (Join the Army.)
  • “How to Make Money Online.” (Stop learning SEO and learn to code.)

There you go. The secrets to success. Maybe read one or two tutorials. But mostly just try a bunch of shit and then replicate what works.

4/20, Armadillos Metaphor, T-shirt, Fuckit, Smoke Weed

Trust me, I have big boobs.

Categories: meta-blogging Tags: Asian, blog, blogging, boobs, code, hits, internet, money, popularity, programming, SEO, wordpress, write, writing

When I was 14, I made a Geocities site. Although the content was embarrassingly 14-year-old (lists of inside jokes and collages of male celebrities), the layout didn’t look half bad, and it got better as I gained some rudimentary HTML and Photoshop skills. I’ve had an online journal in one form or another ever since for the last 9 years. But the newer incarnations had considerably less teen angst and BDSM squirrels.

My Old Xanga Banner

Some WordPressers obsess over their stats, seeking to maximize their page views, and publically posting data.

If you’re curious:  I have 100K hits. This will be my 312th post. I have 418 comments, although to be fair, almost half of those are probably me replying to people. Most referral links come from Google, and the most popular posts are the ones on weird and controversial topics.

It’s been fun—learning what trends and what doesn’t, how to use tags effectively. But it’s not something about which I ever had huge hubris. I know I could have been more aggressive by commenting on other blogs and posting on random forums. But I know views alone don’t immediately result in quality comments or discussion.

Over the last year, I’ve noticed an increase in random “likes” and followings by other bloggers. There are a lot of terrible blogs out there, mostly from people who never made it past the level of my first Geocities site. So, if you’re reading this in your subscriptions and I didn’t follow or like you back, it’s probably because your blog is boring. I’m not interested in joining your little microcosm of bloggers’ circle jerking.

If I did follow you back, congrats. You’re above average.

I was watching Girls on HBO. Otherwise known as Nepotism: That Show with Starring Famous Daughters.

The main character is a 24-year-old trustafarian who has a Bachelor’s in English. She approaches her boss at the place she’s been interning for two years and demands to be compensated for her services. He tells her he’ll be sorry to see her go.

“But Joy Lynn got hired after interning!”

“Yeah, well, Joy Lynn knows Photoshop.”

That’s when I realized that I have a shot at this game.

I can do typography (logos, banners, and professional shiz) but I can also Photoshop squirrels with giant balls holding barbeque lighters. I’d be a good PR rep for a small start-up, preferable ones that needs squirrels with giant balls.

I made a resume, which didn’t turn out quite as pathetic as I thought it would be. I can haz paid writing job?


Categories: Autobiographical Stories Tags: blogging, Clantily Scad, freelance writing, page count, page hits, popularity, readership, wordpress, writing

So, as you may have noticed with my notorious link whoring, I recently joined a freelance writing site. I picked Suite101 over Examiner due to higher editorial oversight and general content quality. I made about $3 in 5 days, which is actually better than average for the average newbie freelance blogger. But still, I checked out their writer forum to see if others had insight into how they were doing.

Apparently, people who have been on the site for years found a massive drop in revenue in the last couple months.  People who had way more articles than me were not not doing vastly better. The phrase “Google panda” came up over and over again on the forum. Instead of trying to trace the orignal conversation, I, of course, turned to Google.  (No, unfortunately, Google didn’t adopt a Panda cub.)

I found a great article, apparently unharmed or able to surpass the limitations of Google Panda.  Here’s what I learned:

  • Google has a codename or nickname for their search algorithm.  Formerly “Caffeine,” it is currently “Panda,” named after one of their engineers.
  • The change was prompted in early 2011 by a call to help weed out “low quality” sites from the searches.   This includes websites from content farms.

Via wikipedia: “Content farm is used to describe a company that employs large numbers of often freelance writers to generate large amounts of textual content which is specifically designed to satisfy algorithms for maximal retrieval by automated search engines. Their main goal is to generate advertising revenue through attracting reader page views.”  < Suite 101 sounds like it fits the criteria.

  • Unfortunately, what determines this “low quality” isn’t always relevant to the quality of writing. Wisegeek, which I always thought had great articles, took a 77% hit in traffic, based on keyword exposure.   Simply by having a site with multiple ads hosted by AdSense (iroincally owned by Google) can hurt your ranking.

A interview discusses Suite101: I spoke to someone yesterday who runs a site called Suite 101. His rankings have tanked, and his keyword traffic is down 94 percent. He says that it’s not fair, since he commissions and curates his own articles and contends the quality is high.

Cutts: Oh, yes. Suite 101, I’ve known about it for years. So why did this guy take a much bigger hit than Demand Media, which has a reputation as the classic site that wins high rankings for low-quality content?

Cutts: I feel pretty confident about the algorithm on Suite 101.

I’ll still be using Suite101 for certain articles, simply because a couple bucks is better than the nothing I’m getting on WordPress.  But in terms of SEO (Search Engine Optimization), my experience finds WordPress better for Google exposure.  Fair or not?  Probably not, but at least I’m aware of it.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: algorithm, blogger, content farm, freelance, google panda, SEO, Suite101, wordpress, writer

So apparently I missed the memo that you’re supposed to name your domain after your blog name. Like the rebel I am, I made my domain my username instead. Quite frankly, I’m indecisive as an ADD kid who forgot his “special bandaid,” and I’m going to change my blog name several times in the future. An inconsistent url would bother me.

So I hope you readers, whoever you are, don’t get too attached to Clantily Scad. That title was a suggestion from a very special asian girl who owes her life to sparkling cider and mansex.

And I’m going to work on trying to post without any sexual references. I promise. Unless that’s what you want. Or do I just need to even out the sex with violence? Violence, you say?

*google image searches “violence”*

Apparently this:

is a logo “against family violence” even though it looks like the kid is punching his conjoined asexual parents.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: add, oh my, sex, social awkwardness, violence, wordpress