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I bought a new cactus with my roomy. He has funny leaves. (Cactuses are mostly boys, right?) He is replacing Prometheus Maximus, the single, most boring cactus ever, who died tragically and unexpectedly after being carelessly sprayed by the bug exterminator.

I named the new cactus Carlos Danger.

He is an African Milk Tree Plant, according to Google, and according to my friend, also has poisonous sap.

Note to self: Do not ever ever lick Carlos Danger.

Background information:

Previous posts on this blog re Carlos Danger:

Happy Second Birthday to My Failed Anthony Weiner Tumblr!

My Failed “I am Anthony Weiner” Project. What I Learned about Social Movements.

I’ve actually met the Anthony Weiner press manager involved in the other mini-scandal. But I don’t want to link to articles about it because I’ve actually been caught on here talking about people I know “behind their back” before; you can go look it up yourself if you want. (She seemed like a pleasant person at the time.)

I also knew one of Weiner’s former key interns who has since quit the campaign in shame and heavy emotional resignation. That reminds me of something Weiner himself should do…

I think he’ll make it through the run-off, but not by much.

Categories: Autobiographical Stories, New York City, Politics or: the art of looking for trouble Tags: Anthony Weiner, cactus, carlos danger, dick jokes, interns, plants, press secretary, puns, scandal, sexting, succulent, The Daily Show

Can’t argue with free buttons.

In Central Park last night with Wyatt Cenac, Al Madrigal, John Oliver, contributor Kristen Schaal, executive producer Rory Albanese, co-executive producer Adam Lowitt and hosted by John Hodgman. A nice lady let us sit on her blanket with her. Lewis Black made a surprise appearance at the end.  It was the best free show ever.

One of my favorite parts was when Wyatt Cenac talked about white supremacists criticizing Thor for having a black Norse god and then agreed with them.  Hah, it’s like I said, Thor had all the “political inclusivity of the Power Rangers.”

Kristen Schaal is better on stage than she is on the show. She did a sexy chair dance with water and then John Hodgman did a not so sexy chair dance with water. She does a weekly gig in Brooklyn every Monday that looks fun.

Even the lesser-name guys who went on first were pretty funny. “Passion attack.” “Did you just rename rape?”

I can’t find a tour date schedule. Tthe Indecision 2012 site doesn’t have one posted. I didn’t know about this show until yesterday. Maybe they’re all free and so popular that only the venue promotes it.

Huh. Whatever. Not my loss. I’m going to go spend the heat wave tomorrow (er, today rather) watching the rest of John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show on Netflix, because he is so fantastic.

Categories: Autobiographical Stories, Politics or: the art of looking for trouble Tags: Central Park, Comedy Central, Indecision 2012, John Hodgman, John Oliver, Kristen Schaal, Live tour 2012, Summer Stage, The Daily Show, Wyatt Cenac

If you go into “The Dictator” with “Borat” expectations, you will most certainly be disappointed. But if you go in with “Ali G Indahouse” expectations, they will most certainly be exceeded.

Complete with a small role from The Daily Show’s Aasif Mandvi, “The Dictator” is the perfect combination of really smart and really stupid humor that will probably alienate anyone whose humor levels are in between. I thought it was funny, and I love me a good dick joke.

“The Dictator” is a tale of love and betrayal, riddled with genocide, racism, and dick jokes. When Admiral General Hafez Aladeen (Sacha Baron Cohen) is betrayed by his uncle, Tamir (Ben Kingsley-otherwise known as that bald, secondary character associated with movies in the desert), he will end up in the strange unknown country of America.

By a series of forced plot devices, Aladeen will meet his love interest Zoey (Anna Farris), a corporate-hating, vegan-loving Brooklynite. Complete with a gender-neutral haircut and love for protesting, it’s a caricature that manages to be more accurate than offensive. (I’ve been to Williamsburg. Don’t deny it, hipsters.) Because nothing says true love like a feminist urban homesteader + brutal dictator wanted for war crimes.

Cultural confusion and dicks ensue.

If you are expecting a mockumentary, then you didn’t pay attention to the marketing of the movie. “The Dictator” is more like “The Hangover 2” if you replaced Zach Galifianakis with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. It’s an Adam Sandler movie, if you replaced Adam Sandler with someone with talent and added relevant political satire.

If anything, the film proves that Sacha Baron Cohen is an extremely versatile actor. And from the 0.5 seconds of it, has a pretty impressive flaccid cock.

Categories: Reviews Tags: Anna Farris, cock, dick, penis, Sacha Baron Cohen, The Daily Show, The Dictator, The Dictator review