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            -David Foster Wallace interviewing on why he dropped out of Harvard.

My brain is in the incipient stages of being able to process things again. If my yearly patterns of seasonal affective go-fuck-yourself disorder play out as normal, I’ll be interested in talking about stuff and things on a regular basis by April.

Hello blog. How are you? Neglected? Yeah…

Quick Dirty Jerz politics update:

Senator Lautenberg, who is quite possibly the most lucid relic of the Great Depression, has finally announced at the age of 89 that he’s going to retire. Mayor of Newark Cory Booker, who is actually a superhero, should slide right into the warm seat in 2014.

He probably won’t be ready for a Presidential bid by 2016, but how feisty would be a Booker/Christie debate be?

Categories: Politics or: the art of looking for trouble Tags: cory booker, David Foster Wallace, delusion, lautenberg, quotes

I cannot stand small talk, because I feel like there’s an elephant standing in the room shitting all over everything and nobody is saying anything. I’m just dying to say, “Hey, do you ever feel like jumping off a bridge?” or “Do you feel an emptiness inside your chest at night that is going to swallow you?” But you can’t say that at a cocktail party.

Paul Gilmartin, The Mental Illness Happy Hour

So what’s going on in current events? Um, a whole lot of people being terrible to each other on the Gaza strip and elsewhere from what I understand.

I used to have coherent thoughts.

Here’s a puppy that looks like a penis.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: depression, penis, puppy, quotes

“Don’t tell me what you value, show me your budget, and I’ll tell you what you value.” -Joe Biden, 2008

“Maybe he should say it again.” -Reddit, 2012

“Paul Ryan Shirtless.”  Gross Internet.

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Bee tee dubs, I just moved a lot of shit across state borders, so I’m going to reserve the right to be lazy this week about posting.

Also I put up ads, so don’t worry, you don’t have spyware, probably. They’re pretty unintrusive and I can take them down at anytime. Selling out feels pretty good.

Categories: Politics or: the art of looking for trouble Tags: joe biden, Paul Ryan, paul ryan shirtless, political quotes, quotes, reddit

I couldn’t find a full transcription anywhere, so I did it myself.

Hello, blog. I missed you.  I’ll do followups to my NIA article and start commenting on current events sometime soon.

In the meantime, enjoy some existential loneliness with a throwback to our childhoods:

——————-

Werner Herzog voiceover:

Where’s Waldo

Where to begin? [Sigh] Top left corner.  Hidden somewhere in this noisy, chaotic morass of society is our fellow traveler—Waldo—a man unstuck from place and time, he travels the world on foot.  His only lifeline to his friends and family, a litany of dreary picture postcards sent from arbitrary locations the world over.  His postcards do nothing to convey the humanity, the madness of Waldo’s adventures.   For that, we must go find him.

Waldo leaves trinkets scattered behind him, shedding a wake of objects as he goes. What story do these leavings tell?  They are a series of transmissions from the past sent in a code we cannot decipher.   Is that a scroll or merely a rolled up towel?  After trying so hard to find the scroll, are we sure we can handle the real answer?

Occasionally, Waldo is all but impossible to ferret out.  Sometimes, it seems like he’s barely trying.   At the ski slopes, I find him almost immediately.   At the sea, I hunt until I am mad, and yet Waldo does not real himself to me.  Oh, there he is.  Hello my little friend.

Wait a moment.  Who is that man with a beard?  I have seen him before.  Is he pursuing Waldo from place to place, country to country?  Someone must warn our hero.  What is everyone so occupied with at the airport that they miss the man of the hour right before them.  Perhaps they are experiencing a collective nightmare of impending disaster.

Who is Waldo’s pursuer meeting with at the museum?  If only I could warn Waldo of this conspiracy.  His naiveté will be his undoing, as it will be for each of us in turn.

Why all this traveling?  We search for Waldo, but what is Waldo searching for? Perhaps he is not searching at all but running from something.  Does this man even want to be found?  Or in searching for Waldo, did we really find ourselves?

No.  Probably not.

Categories: things that amuse me, Viral Things Tags: existential, german accents, grizzly man, New German Cinema, quotes, text, transcribe, transcript, transcription, Werner Herzog, Werner Herzog Reads Where’s Waldo, Where’s Waldo, youtube viral videos

“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”  Literally.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: eye for an eye, Gandhi, Iranian law, quotes

Since no one reads this blog enough for me to do a weekly theme, I’ll do a monthly one for now.

Quote:

“The pride of man makes him love to domineer and nothing mortifies him so much as to be obliged to condescend to persuade his inferiors.”

–Guess Who

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: human nature, pride, quotes