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Posts Tagged ‘puns’

I bought a new cactus with my roomy. He has funny leaves. (Cactuses are mostly boys, right?) He is replacing Prometheus Maximus, the single, most boring cactus ever, who died tragically and unexpectedly after being carelessly sprayed by the bug exterminator.

I named the new cactus Carlos Danger.

He is an African Milk Tree Plant, according to Google, and according to my friend, also has poisonous sap.

Note to self: Do not ever ever lick Carlos Danger.

Background information:

Previous posts on this blog re Carlos Danger:

Happy Second Birthday to My Failed Anthony Weiner Tumblr!

My Failed “I am Anthony Weiner” Project. What I Learned about Social Movements.

I’ve actually met the Anthony Weiner press manager involved in the other mini-scandal. But I don’t want to link to articles about it because I’ve actually been caught on here talking about people I know “behind their back” before; you can go look it up yourself if you want. (She seemed like a pleasant person at the time.)

I also knew one of Weiner’s former key interns who has since quit the campaign in shame and heavy emotional resignation. That reminds me of something Weiner himself should do…

I think he’ll make it through the run-off, but not by much.

Categories: Autobiographical Stories, New York City, Politics or: the art of looking for trouble Tags: Anthony Weiner, cactus, carlos danger, dick jokes, interns, plants, press secretary, puns, scandal, sexting, succulent, The Daily Show

Nerdy Pick Up Lines

From Biology to Music to Math, here are my all-time favorite pick up lines for geeks and nerds.

Some rights reserved by silkegb

—-

10. If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

9.  I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

8.  I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?

7. Baby, I’ll treat you like my homework — I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long.

6. I’m a fermata… hold me.

5. You know, it’s not the length of the vector that counts, it’s how you apply the force.

4. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?

3. I wish I was an ion so I could bond with you.

2. Our love is like dividing by zero… you cannot define it.

1.   And my favorite nerdy pick up line of all time…

Roses are #FF0000

Violets are #0000FF

All my base are belong to you

Categories: Nerd Out Tags: geeky, nerdy, pick up lines, puns, unzip your genes

puns

Archive

Posts Tagged ‘puns’

I bought a new cactus with my roomy. He has funny leaves. (Cactuses are mostly boys, right?) He is replacing Prometheus Maximus, the single, most boring cactus ever, who died tragically and unexpectedly after being carelessly sprayed by the bug exterminator.

I named the new cactus Carlos Danger.

He is an African Milk Tree Plant, according to Google, and according to my friend, also has poisonous sap.

Note to self: Do not ever ever lick Carlos Danger.

Background information:

Previous posts on this blog re Carlos Danger:

Happy Second Birthday to My Failed Anthony Weiner Tumblr!

My Failed “I am Anthony Weiner” Project. What I Learned about Social Movements.

I’ve actually met the Anthony Weiner press manager involved in the other mini-scandal. But I don’t want to link to articles about it because I’ve actually been caught on here talking about people I know “behind their back” before; you can go look it up yourself if you want. (She seemed like a pleasant person at the time.)

I also knew one of Weiner’s former key interns who has since quit the campaign in shame and heavy emotional resignation. That reminds me of something Weiner himself should do…

I think he’ll make it through the run-off, but not by much.

Categories: Autobiographical Stories, New York City, Politics or: the art of looking for trouble Tags: Anthony Weiner, cactus, carlos danger, dick jokes, interns, plants, press secretary, puns, scandal, sexting, succulent, The Daily Show

Nerdy Pick Up Lines

From Biology to Music to Math, here are my all-time favorite pick up lines for geeks and nerds.

Some rights reserved by silkegb

—-

10. If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

9.  I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

8.  I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?

7. Baby, I’ll treat you like my homework — I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long.

6. I’m a fermata… hold me.

5. You know, it’s not the length of the vector that counts, it’s how you apply the force.

4. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?

3. I wish I was an ion so I could bond with you.

2. Our love is like dividing by zero… you cannot define it.

1.   And my favorite nerdy pick up line of all time…

Roses are #FF0000

Violets are #0000FF

All my base are belong to you

Categories: Nerd Out Tags: geeky, nerdy, pick up lines, puns, unzip your genes