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Mark Morford


Posts Tagged ‘Mark Morford’

Update: Barack’s campaign staff made him a Tumblr yesterday. Keep working that vanguard social media, ’12 staffers.

Mark Morford’s “Why Are You So Terribly Disappointing?” essays is one of my all time favs of his work. It’s over a year old, but still relevant:

Big f–ing deal. We just do not care. It’s all a big disappointment. Hey, I was expecting to be blown away. I was expecting miracles and transformations and multiple twitching orgasms on sight. Do not come at me with tantalizing promises only to reveal that you can fulfill most of them to a fairly good degree, and not far exceed all of them in every imaginable way…

My God, did you hear that pathetic State of the Union? That guy, that President Obama? Disappointing times a thousand, am I right? What the hell happened to him? Why is he so weak and ineffectual? Why the hell can’t he step up and fix the entire planet in under 400 days like he promised he would, in my dreams and fantasies and impossible liberal grass-fed organic tofu greengasms? Doesn’t he know I put a goddamn bumper sticker on my Subaru for him? I’ve never done that for anyone. Bastard…

But the biggest disappointment of all? Turns out one calm n’ brilliant Barack Obama isn’t enough to solve the problem of 535 vile n’ slothful congressional jackals who aren’t Barack Obama. Go figure.

I’m currently compiling Obama’s accomplishments and failures, for the last 3 years, including which ones specifically were blocked by the House Republicans. It might go up on Suite101 later; I’ve been derelict on my independent contract duties.

Categories: Politics or: the art of looking for trouble Tags: barack obama, Mark Morford, Obama tumblr, still like obama

I am at a level of blog popularity where I’ve started to have strangers getting angry and putting thought and effort into vitriolic comments.  It’s adorable.  I’ll add to this list as needed.

People who hate me:

–Austrian Economists

–Socialist Feminists  (This is not  a caricature.)

–People who miss Amy Winehouse

-Kids who worked for Cutco more than a week

–Adolescents with no conception of healthy relationships and Sad Adults who also read Twilight



 If you also hate me, let me know, so I can add you to the list.

The full title of my subheader used to be “socioculturalpolitically incorrect commentary from a misanthropic twat.”

Some of the inspiration for behind the “misanthropic twat” persona that used to be the standard voice of my this blog is Maddox.  He is the original unabashed Internet asshole.  And he became massively famously for it.  He’s probably wealthy too if his royalties for Alphabet of Manliness are as big as his balls.

I’m aiming for Maddox’s lack of shame with a writing style sprinkled with bits of Ze Frank’s smiles and Mark Morford’s political acumen.  When I start getting hate-mail like Mark Morford, I’ll know I’ve made it big:

Categories: Autobiographical Stories, meta-blogging Tags: arguing on the internet, hate, hate mail, maddox, Mark Morford, misanthropic twat, vitriol

This heatwave is making me loopy.  I need to stick my sheets in the freezer and then wrap myself in them while sitting on a block of ice.  I can’t tell the difference between satire and reality–Congress Continues Debate Over Whether Or Not Nation Should Be Economically Ruined

Oh, The Onion, your sanity makes me want to cry sweet tears of confusion.

Mark Morford of SFChronicle has some questions about these so very confusing times in our political climate:

I confess I am not much of a historian. Was there ever another time like this? A more bizarrely unstable, hallucinogenic period in American political and social life? Perhaps back when U.S. senators wore powdered wigs and sat on long, hard benches, hurled stiff profanities at one another, spit into buckets, wrote with quills, beat children in public, stared at the moon and thought it was made of candle wax and cheese curdles and then went into the back room to sexually abuse each other with feather dusters and branding irons?

In other news, here are Gay Barbarians protesting Dr. Marcus Bachmann:

Here’s a cool island song about Banana Man:

Categories: Social commentary, things that amuse me Tags: Banana Man, Economic Disaster, Gay Barbarians, Mark Morford, The Onion