My Blog


Rick Santorum awkwardly pretending he’s not suing one of the sponsors of this debate.

Not only is Google-Fox an awkward partnership, but Rick Santorum, who seemingly forgot how freedom of speech works, is in the middle of litigating Google because his children can’t Google search his name.

Mitt Romney: “My book has absolutely no lies and has been ratified by Massachusetts, our Founding Fathers, and Joseph Smith. But nice try, Rick Perry, nice try.”

Rick Perry: “I have no articulate rebuttal to Mr. Great Hair, because I have the debate skills of a drunk marmoset. I would, however, like to see Cain and Gingrich mate and make their lovechild my VP.”

Jon Huntsman: “I can prove I’m less of an asshole this round!”

Herman Cain: “We can fix everything because everything is broken! Just use the Chilean model (minus the trapped miners).”

Rick Santorum: “I forgot what DADT was.”

Michelle Bachmann: “I forgot that Ronald Reagan actually had a lower approval rating than Obama has right now.”

Ron Paul: “I’m only relevant in straw polls!”

Newt Gingrich: “I’m only relevant in the 90s!”

Gary Johnson: “Since Tim Pawlenty is out I claim his ‘Who the Fuck is That Guy?” title!”

FOX Crowd: “Where’s the tail-gate party for racist homophobes?”

Read the live-blog from the last debate, the CNN/Tea Party debate, here or my annotated transcript from the September Politico debate here.

Read the real, full transcript at Politisite. Or watch TPM’s Debate in 100 Seconds video. Some of the jokes here (like the Cain-Gingrich lovechild joke) will make more sense if you do.