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Live from Safety School University!

But first…

Dave Itzkoff ‏@ditzkoff

“Tonight’s first question comes to us from a man who calls himself Violentacrez. Go ahead, Mr. Violentacrez.” #debate

Bwahahahahaha.

Patton Oswalt ‏@pattonoswalt

OBAMASATDOWNFIRSTHELOST — inside Hannity’s brain right now.#debate

9:05

“I want you to be able to get a job.” Yeah, so you can fire me from it.

9:15

I think Romney just admitted to not caring about birds dying.  Big Bird is crying.

Tom Junod ‏@TomJunod

Now he wants to kill Little Bird.

9:20

Once again a moderator is failing to move on.

The New York Times op-ed, November 18, 2008:

“Let Detroit Go Bankrupt”

by Mitt Romney

^not The Onion

9:30 

I’m so bored of talking about jobs. Go back to talking about killing birds.

Chuck Wendig ‏@ChuckWendig

Obama starts explaining economic theory. Romney makes fart noises and monkey sounds in the background. #fakedebate

9:39

‎”I put women in my cabinet.” ~Romney misquote

Franklin Leonard ‏@franklinleonard

“I hired lots of women.” = “Some of my best friends are black.”

9:51

Wow, invocation of the G.W. We should start asking: Is our children learning from this debate?

Indecision ‏@indecision

This guy’s on fire. Hold on- how do we know it isn’t Joe Biden wearing his Obama costume a few weeks early? #debates

Nina Bargiel ‏@slackmistress

“I CAN SEE SYRIA FROM MY INVESTMENTS!” – Mitt Romney#MocktheVote

Alex Halperin ‏@alexhalperin

What took so long? http://bindersfullofwomen.tumblr.com/  #debates

10:25

Now that we all understand each other, group hug?

10:27

Nothing like talk to currency manipulation to rally up the masses.

Romney’s Binder ‏@Romneys_Binder

Mitt Romney: “I want to make America the most attractive place in the world for my binder.”

Complete transcript:

(Pro-tip: when you get there: Ctrl-F “gang bangers.”)

Categories: Politics or: the art of looking for trouble Tags: 2012, debate, election, obama, presidential debates, romney

Ze Frank summarizes the facts of the debate:

Paul Ryan’s hair does look like an accordion. Although I think the comparison to the slow loris is unfounded. The slow loris is much cuter than Paul Ryan, although I’m sure Paul Ryan has nicer abs than the slow loris.

Just look at it… it’s clearly part of the 47%.

There weren’t any terribly egregious errors. Mostly normal fact check problems on both sides like rounding numbers like 264 to 300 and using studies that are wrong.

I made a comment during the debate that Biden says they are “friends” like they go flyfishing every second Tuesday month and then go to the titty bar.

Now I have a mental image of Joe Biden saying “titty bar” and it’s hilarious.

Categories: Politics or: the art of looking for trouble Tags: debate, joe biden, meme, politics, vice president, VP

Presidential Bro Hug

Pre-game:

The Obion: Biden Implores Obama To ‘Rub One Out’ Before Debate

‘Don’t Want Pussy On The Mind Out There,’ Reports Vice President

—-

9:07

Mitt Romney invokes a story involving a baby.

Lizz Winstead @lizzwinstead

Romney bored that unemployed person to death. #MockTheVote #Debates

9:11

Obama talks about specific tax cut numbers and the moderator sounds old and confused.

9:13

Mitt Romney: “I like coal.”

Me too, as long as I’m not getting trapped in a Chilean mine, mining it.

9:20

My Internet stream keeps buffering and I don’t care, because everyone is so boring.

9:23 

Boring point-in-case, Obama just talked about “math.”

@indecision

Good thing they keep talking about math. Nothing gets America fired up more than math. #debates

9:28

“I like Big Bird.”

This debate reminds me of…

9:38

Matt Yglesias ‏@mattyglesias

I think Obama should have practiced some zingers.

9:40

Andrew Sullivan ‏@sullydish

First unforced Romney error: “I may need a new accountant.”http://thebea.st/RdXvE9

9:50

Indecision ‏@indecision

This campaign to re-elect Bill Clinton is going really well.#debates

9:52

I think Obama’s boring is rubbing off on Romney. R-Money just mentioned “leverage limits.”

9:55

What if Jim Lehrer had a heart attack right now? His resuscitation could be funded by viewers like you!

9:57

Newsflash! Nobody has actually read Dodd-Frank.

Lizz Winstead ‏@lizzwinstead

Dodd Frank: Was that the girl in the attic? #MockTheVote #Debates

10:05

Wil Wheaton ‏@wilw

Okay, so I think this show needs a whacky neighbor to really spice things up. Maybe a talking baby, or a dog. OMG MAKE THIS FAMILY GUY!

Candice Hall ‏@sexmysobriquet

@wilw Pot-smoking Koala? It could be American Dad.

10:09

Obama should just curl up in the fetal position and scream health care statistics for the rest of the debate.

10:10

ThinkProgress ‏@thinkprogress

Romney says he didn’t raise taxes to pay for Romneycare. That’s because it was subsidized heavily by the federal gov’t

10:12

Brooklyn Bitch ‏@_BrooklynBitch

When can we talk about vaginas and anal sex? #debates #priorities

10:15

Man, I wish Big Bird was moderating this debate. Big Bird or a corpse would be doing a better job at creating structure than this guy.

10:24

Silent Jim Lehrer ‏@SilentJimLehrer

…um…I…

10:25

There’s bars out there serving drinks called “zingers” right now, right?

10:33

Well, my dream of Obama screaming, “You tied your dog to a car!” have been crushed.

Joëlle ‏@The_Sculptress

Jesus tap dancing Christ! I’d rather hear about bitches, zombies, the apocalypse, sandwiches or anal before any more political tweets. Fuck!

KimJongNumberUn ‏@KimJongNumberUn

North Koreans should be grateful tonight that Dad banned television.#debate

Good night and good luck.

Categories: Politics or: the art of looking for trouble Tags: #mockthevote, 2012, barack obama, debate, liveblog, liveblogging, Mitt Romney, Presidential Debate