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CNN and Western Republican Primary Debate Annotated Transcript

Admiral Bachmann talking about Anchor Babies.

“To a state… where dreams are made and crushed.” -Real quote from the 10/18/11 debate opener, unlike the rest of this post.

Welcome the annotated transcript of The Real World: Las Vegas. I mean, Western Republican/CNN Presidential Primary Debate. Snort your hopes and dreams in Nevada.

Anderson Cooper takes a break from encouraging kids to break their necks to grace us with his silver fox presence for yet another liberal-media-makes-awkward-conservative-associations debate.

Rick Perry: “Waving my hands desperately to address the American People makes me more credible.”

Herman Cain: “I should have gotten an immunity pendant from the last debate.”

Michelle Bachmann: “My flashy outfit could not compensate for CNN’s 5-person-wide camera shot of the stage and their strategic placement of me at the end.”

Newt Gingrich: “I found my centrist God while on a nuclear vision quest on Yucca Mountain.”

Ron Paul: “Avoid the question. Avoid the question. Talk about freedom. Avoid the question.”

Rick Santorum: “Being a massive dick will help me seem more straight.”

Mitt Romney: “I’m going to knife Rick Santorum backstage after this show. I’m not going to bother with Rick Perry, because I think he’s already accidentally knifed himself.”

My analysis of the last debate, specifically the 9-9-9 plan is here. Annotated transcripts of previous debates here and here.

@ChaseRoper tweets, “I’m feverishly taking notes of this debate so I can work up a spec script and pitch it as Saw VIII. #tweetthepress #GOPdebate”