Clantily Scad’s Comment of the Year Award, which I just made up even though the year isn’t over, goes to RM for his or her comment on my post “Pugs are Ugly Motherfuckers.”
I had to google “pugs are fucking ugly” just to see how many people shared my sentiments. Dishearteningly and unfathomably, it seems that people mostly refer to pugs as “cute”, or at worst “cute in an ugly way”.
I’m not sure whether the people are near blind, semi retarded or a combination of the two… But I am sure that pugs are the ugliest, nastiest, most grotesque and vile little balls of shit in the entire animal kingdom… And this is coming from a vegetarian who wouldn’t even hurt a fly. In fact, I have an easier time encompassing cockroaches into my circle of compassion than even attempting to scrape together an iota of love, or even tolerance for the horrific monstrosity that is the pug.
Now I’m not a completely cynical bastard, so I’ll try to end on a positive note. For a very, very brief time when pugs are puppies, there is the tiniest (and I mean tiniest) hint of cuteness in their faces. But as I said, this is only for an extremely brief time. The moment they age beyond 3 weeks, they start going downhill… Fast. It’s not long at all before they look like a cross between Gollum and a wart infested anus. Complete with a pair of absolutely terrifying, arse ugly, yet comically hilarious “googly eyeballs”.
Finally, as if their ghastly appearance wasn’t enough… Their habits are putrid. 99% of their wretched lives consist of making obnoxious, stomach turning slurping, grunting and snorting sounds.
Down with pugs. Foul beasts.
I need to go Youtube some Welsh Corgi videos to get those images of Pugs out of my head.
Congrats, RM! You win absolutely nothing except a nod of approval.