1. Megan Fox. I mean, come on! Megan Fox! If there’s a reason anyone paid money to see Transformers 2 it was Megan Fox. Pouty lips, tattoos, and talks about sex all the time. She’s mini-Angelina. Next thing you know, she’ll be adopting babies from Africa and parading them around in awful outfits.
2. Charlie from Lost. Do you know his real name? I don’t. He’s just “that rock star from Lost” who got to make out with a hot chick in that show too. What a pimp, although now he’ll be typecast forever as a heroin addict. I looked it up; his name is Dominic Bernard Patrick Luke Monaghan, because he’s so hardcore he needs 3 middle names. You might also recognize him as one of those nasty hobbitses from LOTR:
3. Fire. Self-sustaining exothermic oxidation reactions. Let’s burn a house down and then sing about it in front of it. And put in some cool CGI effects of self-immolation. Because fire. Fire!
4. Domestic abuse. Appeal to the trailer park redneck in us all.
5. Joseph Kahn. NYU drop-out prodigy, he was director of… like every cool music video with tight editing in the last 10 years.
6. Rihanna and Eminem. Rihanna who is cashing in as much as possible on getting beat by Chris Brown. And Emimen who is cashing in as much as possible about supposedly being clean.