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House MD «

*There will be Season 8 Spoilers ahead.*


Three episodes into Season 8 of House, the sheer amount of re-used plot devices and slashed characters replaced with boring, new characters is confirming what I suspected three seasons ago. The writers of House M.D. have castrated themselves.

They have castrated themselves, ate their own testes, swished them down with Cliché Idea juice, regurgitated everything, and used this frothy mixture as ink to write the screenplays for the last three seasons.

As a result, the latest season contains:

Hot Doctor working for outside party with initial antagonistic opinions, but later engages in a flirtatious professional relationship with House that will probably end up detrimental to her career.

If it happens 4 Seasons later (Dr. Terzi from S4E6) it’s still original right?

Masters character is finally gone.  Oh wait, never mind, she is back as an equally socially awkward Asian.

“I have a career.” -Olivia Wilde

Thirteen. She’s back! Wait, no. She’s fired again. Was she fired once or twice or thrice before? I think so, but House fires and then rehires so many people I can’t keep track. At least we got to see her make-out with another girl at the end of episode 3 before she left.

“I have a career.” -Lisa Edelstein

No Cuddy, of course.

The last episode S8E3 “Charity Case” involved the diagnosis of a man who donates all his money to charitable non-profits and wants to donate all his organs. His excessive altruism at the expense of causing his rich wife great grief is deemed as a symptom.

Unselfishness as presentation for an underlying somatic illness? The recurring motif in the writing of Season 8 is:  Let’s just take everything from Season 4  (“No More Mr. Nice Guy,” episode 13) and pretend it never happened.

I loved this show once upon a time. Back when there were witty one-liners, deep philosophical quandaries, less major personal crises turned around every other episode, and characters that lasted more than one season. The only reason I can’t stop watching it, or anyone still watches it for that matter, is Hugh Laurie. Whom I’m sure Fox pays retarded amounts to or else this show would have been cancelled long ago.

I was going to end this rant/review with a sidenote on how the season finale of Breaking Bad was as smooth as the top of Bryan Cranston’s head, but I do not have enough words for how much better that show is right now than House. I shall leave you with this: