“To a state… where dreams are made and crushed.” -Real quote from the 10/18/11 debate opener, unlike the rest of this post.
Welcome the annotated transcript of The Real World: Las Vegas. I mean, Western Republican/CNN Presidential Primary Debate. Snort your hopes and dreams in Nevada.
Rick Perry: “Waving my hands desperately to address the American People makes me more credible.”
Herman Cain: “I should have gotten an immunity pendant from the last debate.”
Michelle Bachmann: “My flashy outfit could not compensate for CNN’s 5-person-wide camera shot of the stage and their strategic placement of me at the end.”
Newt Gingrich: “I found my centrist God while on a nuclear vision quest on Yucca Mountain.”
Ron Paul: “Avoid the question. Avoid the question. Talk about freedom. Avoid the question.”
Rick Santorum: “Being a massive dick will help me seem more straight.”
Mitt Romney: “I’m going to knife Rick Santorum backstage after this show. I’m not going to bother with Rick Perry, because I think he’s already accidentally knifed himself.”
@ChaseRoper tweets, “I’m feverishly taking notes of this debate so I can work up a spec script and pitch it as Saw VIII. #tweetthepress #GOPdebate”