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Home > satire > Bloomberg Debate Analysis: The simultaneous winner and loser is Herman Cain’s 999 plan.

Bloomberg Debate Analysis: The simultaneous winner and loser is Herman Cain’s 999 plan.

Herman Cain grabbing the voluptuous bosom of America.

In the October 12, 2011 Bloomberg GOP primary debate, Michelle Bachmann reveals that Herman Cain’s chief economic advisor is, in fact…

When you turn it upside-down, I think the Devil’s in the details.

Satan.

[Insert picture of Beelzebub writing reforms of IRS tax code in the blood of middle-class Americans.]

Yes, the big debate last night centered around Herman’s “9-9-9 plan,” which would change the federal income, cooperate, and sales tax from “What the fuck are they now?” each to a flat 9%. The plan was mentioned a total of 85 times in the debate and repeatedly confused with the price of a 16″ pie with extra cheese.

When pressed by moderators on his specific economic counsel, Cain deflected from his involvement in the Dark Arts and cited Some Guy from Cleveland, Ohio.

Satan could not be reached directly for commentary, but his press secretary told reporters:

We will roast the non-believers over pits of burning skin made from the flesh flayed off their own backs.

The rest of the debate went as expected with all the candidates rolling around in their collective sweet sweet lie juices. Charlie Rose reaffirmed his role in American media as the witty but serious, wise wizard of interviewers. And the Dartmouth college students who showed up in the audience out of intellectual respect for knowing “the other side” remained too stoned to effectively analyze the debate.

Satirical “Annotated Transcripts” of past debates here and here.  Live-blog of the Tea Party debate from Sept. here.

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  1. October 18, 2011 at 1:24 am

    If nothing else, this was creative. 🙂

  1. October 18, 2011 at 9:43 pm

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