Newt Gingrich: “I’m a Democrat tonight!”
Rick Perry: “Fuck Mitt Romney. (And the Mexicans. Execute them all.)”
Mitt Romney: “Don’t listen to Rick Perry. Massachusetts is special.”
Rick Santorum: “I’m sorry. My mouth is too full of fecal matter to make a difference.”
Ron Paul: “The free market will always give it to me better than Rick Santorum.”
Herman Cain: “I would have good talking points, if only the audience didn’t want to lynch me.”
Jon Huntsman: “I’m above these partisan politics. Not.”
Michelle Bachmann: “Stop stealing my thunder!”
Everybody: “Barack Obama is a failure and socialist! Lower taxes! I will suck the embalmed cock of Ronald Reagan!”
—-
You’re welcome.
For the real debate, watch it on Politico or read the full transcript from NYT.
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