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Home > dictionary.reference.com/search?q=satire > The Right to Bear Arms: An Alternative

The Right to Bear Arms: An Alternative

Our second amendment quite pithily reads:

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

Yay for awkward and archaic grammatical structuring! But even when looked at the context of the language of the time period, many constitutional law questions can occur:

Who is covered under “the People” and who are they in relative to the “militia”?

What exactly does “keep and bear arms” mean and at what point is “infringing”?

I say we avoid these “let’s guess what our forefathers meant” questions altogether and allow unrestricted gun purchasing ability to any adult citizen who isn’t a criminal. Assault weapons too.

Then we completely outlaw ammunition.

Everyone now has the right to bear arms, a vast array of tools with which to bludgeon your enemies. Free bear arms with every purchase.


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  1. November 11, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    I fully agree with you – except for outlawing ammunition.

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